


[what sort of whack school do you go to]

by conduitpowrr



Category: Video Blogging RPF, mcyt
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Bonding, British school system, Chaos, Dadza, Domestic Fluff, Eret and Tubbo are brothers, Family Reunions, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Injury, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Road Trips, Sibling Bonding, Swearing, Texting, The Alley™, The Bush Incident™, Truth or Dare, bcos theyre all clumsy as fuck, big ups to them, dont ask, dream team, fundy is a close friend, inspired by the other text fics, its never major though, just dudes being bros, ly guys, maybe ooc?, niki is also family, oh yeah phil is a teacher, sbi, sleepy bois inc - Freeform, theres so many tags im so sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 20,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27560515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conduitpowrr/pseuds/conduitpowrr
Summary: [ dre created group OnlyPain ][ dre added gogy, snapmap, wimblur and 10 others to OnlyPain ]dre: FIRSTsnapmap: wtf-------------just another text fic to add to the mix
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Eret & Floris | Fundy, Eret & Niki | Nihachu & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Everyone & Everyone, Floris | Fundy & Niki | Nihachu, Floris | Fundy & Ranboo, George | Spifey & Harvey | TapL, Jordan Maron & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot, Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Niki | Nihachu & Wilbur Soot, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 425
Kudos: 2195





	1. [lgbbq: are you sure about that?]

**Author's Note:**

> [ characters ; ]  
> dre - dream  
> gogy - george  
> snapmap - sapnap  
> wimblur- wilbur  
> Dadza - phil  
> blood god - techno  
> child - tommy  
> bigT - tubbo  
> lgbbq- eret  
> furry - fundy  
> niki - niki  
> jif- skeppy  
> badboyangel - badboyhalo  
> [ more will be added in the future! ]

[ _**dre** created group **OnlyPain**_ ]

[ _**dre** added **gogy** , **snapmap** , **wimblur** and 10 others to **OnlyPain**_ ]

_11:47AM_

**dre:** FIRST

 **snapmap:** wtf

 **gogy:** you’re such a child

 **dre:** can a child dO THIS??????

 **gogy:** oh god

 **wimblur:** what happened

 **snapmap:** he stacked like 12 plastic chairs on top of each other and climbed to the top

 **snapmap:** then he threw his phone at george and jumped off into the pool

 **snapmap:** the chairs fell in after him

 **wimblur:** did he break anything

 **snapmap:** we don’t know yet

 **snapmap:** hes screaming, so probably

 **child:** DESERVED KEKW

 **child:** WHY IS MY NAME CHILD WHAT THE FUCK

 **badboyangel:** Language! -.-

 **child:** SHUT UP BAD BOY HALO

[ _**child** changed their name to **ALPHAMALE**_ ]

 **ALPHAMALE:** GET FUCKED

[ _**dre** changed **ALPHAMALE** ’s name to child_ ]

[ _**dre** revoked admin power from **child**_ ]

 **child:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **child:** FUCKYOU YOU GREEN BASTARD

 **bigT:** tommy be nice :(

 **child:** SHUT UP TUBBO

 **bigT:** :(

 **bigT:** anyway i need help with my projevt

 **niki:** what do you need?

 **bigT:** rivers

 **bigT:** i need to finish before my next geography lesson

 **furry:** you need an actual river? what sort of whack school do you go to

 **furry:** what the fuck is my name

[ _**furry** changed their name to **FUNNYGUY**_ ]

 **niki:** i’ll dm you tubbo!

 **bigT:** awesome

 **FUNNYGUY:** my joke goes unappreciated yet again

 **dre:** L

 **wimblur:** aren’t you supposed to be in class

 **FUNNYGUY:** ...no

 **wimblur:** fundy

 **FUNNYGUY:** would i lie to you wil?

 **FUNNYGUY:** absolutely not!

 **lgbbq:** funny you’d say that fundy

 **FUNNYGUY:** eret no

 **lgbbq:** miss williams has sent a group to search for you

 **FUNNYGUY:** is that so?

 **lgbbq:** yup, and it’s the people who actually like class looking for you

 **FUNNYGUY:** they’ll just give up, i’m very hidden

 **lgbbq:** are you sure about that?

 **lgbbq:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **FUNNYGUY:** and this is my queue to find a new hiding spot

 **lgbbq:** good luck

_10:25PM_

**blood god:** dad

 **Dadza:** Yes Techno?

 **blood god:** two things

 **blood god:** please don’t update your hardcore world to the new version

 **blood god:** also can i have an extension on my paper i might not be able to finish it by tomorrow morning

 **Dadza:** Of course you can have an extension

 **wimblur:** can i

 **Dadza:** No Wilbur you’ve had 3 weeks to work on it and you’ve had no other projects

 **wimblur:** you can’t prove that

 **wimblur:** please dad

 **Dadza:** I checked with all of your other professors

 **child:** HAHAHAHHAAHHA

 **wimblur:** shut up tommy before i make you

 **child:** DO IT THEN BIG MAN

 **wimblur:** bet

 **wimblur:** family, ignore any screaming

 **blood god:** got it

 **Dadza:** Wil don’t murder your brother

 **wimblur:** no promises

 **child:** PHILZA MINECRAFT PLEASE HELP HES TRYING TO EGY INOT MG ROOM THE BARRACADES WONT ALST MCUCH LINGER

 **wimblur:** tommy what are you using to barricade your door wtf

 **child:** MY MANLY POWER

 **child:** GO AWAY

 **wimblur:** no

 **blood god:** do you need help wilbur?

 **wimblur:** yeah i think he’s using his chair as a barricade

 **child:** GO AWAY

 **blood god:** omw

 **niki:** is everything okay over there? we can hear tommy’s screaming from our house

 **wimblur:** don’t worry about it niki <3

 **niki:** okay!

 **child:** NIKI HELP ME

 **wimblur:** hush child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is inspired from the multitude of text fics i've been reading for the past few months!  
> this is also the first story i've published ever- so if i messed anything up, please comment and let me know-
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated !!


	2. [gogy: hi i just got out of fencing club what was the bush incident]

_8:10AM_

**gogy:** @ **Dadza**

 **Dadza:** Yes George?

 **gogy:** dream wants an extension on his paper too

 **gogy:** we’re in the hospital right now

 **gogy:** he broke his wrist and fractured his ankle

 **Dadza:** Tell him he can have as long as he needs

 **dre:** tahns phzikl

 **gogy:** how did you get your phone

 **dre:** a magicain neber telks

 **gogy:** i’m going to come back there and take it off you

 **dre:** nO

 **gogy:** i can hear you screeching from the waiting room wtf

 **snapmap:** dreAM STFU I WAS ASLEEP

 **dre:** GEORGE FHREATENDX ME

 **snapmap:** I DONT CARE

 **snapmap:** I WAS ASLEEP ON HIS SHOULDERAND NOW HES GONE

 **dre:** GOOD

 **wimblur:** can you guys shut the fuck up my phone is pinging like mad i don’t want dad to find where i’m keeping the child

 **Dadza:** wait what

 **wimblur:** oh hey dad

 **Dadza:** Wilbur, where is Tommy?

 **wimblur:** in a better place

 **Dadza:** what do you mean

 **blood god:** in a better place

 **bigT:** pleas let out tommy before school he has a prjext due

 **wimblur:** of course tubbo

 **bigT:** tahnks

_10:38AM_

**lgbbq:** fundy

 **FUNNYGUY:** eret

 **bigT:** tubbo

 **lgbbq:** tubbo

 **FUNNYGUY:** tubbo

 **bigT:** tubbo

 **lgbbq:** so true

 **lgbbq:** anyway fundy

 **FUNNYGUY:** what do you want

 **lgbbq:** i need help

 **FUNNYGUY:** with what

 **lgbbq:** script for a play that miss williams forced me to write

 **FUNNYGUY:** why did she force you of all people

 **lgbbq:** i’m the only one who shows up to class consistently

 **FUNNYGUY:** that is your fault entirely why would i help you

 **lgbbq:** :(

 **FUNNYGUY:** ...

 **FUNNYGUY:** what do i get out of this

 **lgbbq:** starbucks?

 **FUNNYGUY:** LETS GOOOOOO

 **lgbbq:** it’s a date!

 **FUNNYGUY:** YEA!

 **FUNNYGUY:** wait a second

 **lgbbq:** i’ll pick you up at three! be ready

 **FUNNYGUY:** FUCK YOU ERET

 **lgbbq:** ur loss

 **FUNNYGUY:** I DIDNT SAY I WOULDNT COME

 **wimblur:** wow

 **wimblur:** my son...

 **wimblur:** going on dates with a traitor

 **FUNNYGUY:** wait wilbur no it’s not what it looks like

[ **_wimblur_** _changed **FUNNYGUY** ’s name to **furry**_ ]

 **furry:** PLEASE NO

[ **_wimblur_** _has revoked admin power from **furry**_ ]

 **furry:** WILBUR WHAT THE HELL

 **furry:** ERET I BLAME YOU ENTIRELY

 **lgbbq:** that’s fair

_11:06AM_

**Dadza:** Wilbur did you finish your paper

 **wimblur:** paper?

 **Dadza:** the one i asked you to finish last night

 **wimblur:** i was with tommy

 **Dadza:** It’s due in less than 10 minutes

 **wimblur:** ill be fine

 **Dadza:** Wilbur Pandel.

 **wimblur:** what no wait i can finish it after school dad pleas e no don t be mad i’m sorry

 **dre:** lmao get fucikdd wil

 **gogy:** dream

 **dre:** gtg

_2:48PM_

**lgbbq:** i’m at your car fundy

 **furry:** omw

 **lgbbq:** legend

 **bigT:** dream

 **dre:** tubbo

 **bigT:** can i add someone to the chat

 **dre:** go aheda

 **gogy:** DREAM HOW DID GOU GET YOUR PHONE

 **dre:** fUck yuo geotsge

[ **_bigT_** _added **purp** to **OnlyPain** _]

 **purp:** yo

 **bigT:** purpled !!

 **child:** SMALL P GOOD TO SEE YOU

 **purp:** is that tommy

 **child:** YES

[ **_purp_** _muted **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **child:** HOW DARE YOU

 **child:** FUXK TOU HOW TO REMOVE SOMEONE

 **wimblur:** how the fuck did you get your phone

 **child:** oh no

 **jif:** oOoOOo is tommay caard?? hahHahahdhhdjdj

 **badboyangel:** Translation: Ooo is Tommy scared? Haha

 **wimblur:** thank you bad

 **child:** I AM NOT FUCK YOU SKEPPY

 **bigT:** that’s a fat lie

 **bigT:** all the colour drained from his face as soon as he saw your message wilbur

 **wimblur:** as it should

 **child:** FUCK YOU TUBBO

 **badboyangel:** Language Tommy!

 **child:** OH WHATRE TOU GONNA DO IF I KEEP FUCKINH SWEARING BIG MAN

 **badboyangel:** Wilbur, your brother is camping out in Erets back yard with Tubbo and Niki

 **wimblur:** thank you

 **wimblur:** @ **blood god**

 **blood god:** on it

 **child:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **Dadza:** Please don’t hurt each other too badly

 **Dadza:** I don’t want a repeat of the Bush Incident

 **wimblur:** dad

 **Dadza:** Yes son?

 **wimblur:** never bring up the Bush Incident ever again

_5:10PM_

**gogy:** hi i just got out of fencing club what was the bush incident

 **child:** GOGY

 **child:** BASICALLY WILBUR RAN OFF WHEN HE WAS GETTING CHASED BY TECHNO AND GOT STUCK IN A BUSH AND WE HAD TO CALL THE COPS TO SAW IT OPEN AND FREE HIM

 **wimblur:** HOW THE FUCK DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?

 **Dadza:** Wil...

 **wimblur:** no dad please don’t

 **gogy:** don’t what

 **snapmap:** do it phil you won’t

 **Dadza:** Wilbur the Bush Incident was only two months ago

 **wimblur:** sapnap you’re next

 **snapmap:** good luck finding me bitch

 **gogy:** wait you got stuck in a bush two months ago?

 **gogy:** how did nobody else find out?

 **wimblur:** i threatened them and they listened

 **wimblur:** i had power over them

 **wimblur:** i still do

 **blood god:** if you drag me into this i will just side with tommy

 **wimblur:** of course not, i’ll only be exposing tommy

 **child:** NO

 **wimblur:** did you guys know tommyyxjcofofkmtnfofo cove r ryvuvj jcie fnnfo cnidarian eois n

 **wimblur:** Hello, it’s Phil. Wilbur has lost his phone for the time being. Tommy, run

 **child:** THANK YOU BIG P

 **bigT:** tommy is smiling now thank you philza or wimbur

 **wimblur:** You’re welcome Tubbo, stay safe

_5:50PM_

**purp:** hi i’m just asking why there’s a phone shaped hole in my window

 **purp:** wait let me see who

 **wimblur:** test

 **wimblur:** oh my god you threw wilbur’s phone through my window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter seems way longer than the first one- uh-  
> sorry for not updating in like- 2 days? i was going to yesterday but the war!
> 
> also that shit made me bawl my eyes out, especially when philza minecraft joined holyyyyyyy


	3. [furry: help]

_4:20AM_

[ **_snapmap_** _added **manlyman** to **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **manlyman:** hello everybody!

 **furry:** it’s 4AM go thr fuck fo skrro p

 **lgbbq:** seconded ^ please sleep

 **manlyman:** what the honk

 **snapmap:** it’s okay karl they won’t understand

 **lgbbq:** oh hey karl

 **furry:** oh hey mark

 **lgbbq:** fundy i can hear you giggling at your own joke

 **furry:** i’d hope so

 **bigT:** eret where are you and fundy you have t come home yet

 **furry:** tubbo your brother took a wrong turn so now we’re camped out in the middle of a fucking field with cold starbucks and the only warmth being from each other because the engine died

 **lgbbq:** we got the script finished though

 **furry:** yeah but that doesn’t excuse the fact i’m fucking freezing

 **lgbbq:** you complain that you’re cold and then refuse to lay near me

 **furry:** stfu

 **wimblur:** Fundy stop being so stubborn and lay with the man he isn’t gonna hurt you

 **furry:** stfu purpled i know you have wilbur’s phone

 **purp:** i don’t actually

 **purp:** as soon as i sent that a hand shot through my window and snatched his phone off me so i’m assuming it’s back in wilbur’s possession

 **purp:** also it’s four in the morning go to sleep

 **wimblur:** no this isn’t Wilbur :)

 **Dadza:** Who is it

 **wimblur:** Phil! my old friend

 **wimblur:** it’s Schlatt can i add myself to the group

 **dre:** shre

 **gogy:** how the hell are you getting your phone

 **dre:** i’m at home you can’t do shIT BITHX

 **gogy:** bet

[ **_wimblur_** _added **moneybags** to **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **moneybags:** it feels nice to be on my own phone again

 **moneybags:** anyway how is everyone holding up

 **furry:** help

 **furry:** ert LAID on mE AND WONT GET UP

 **bigT:** eret gives great tired hugs youll live fundy

 **furry:** i will nZot lIve fUvkod djcoocnnf

 **furry:** goodnight guys, sleep well !

 **bigT:** goodnight eret see you tomotrow

_9:49AM_

**gogy:** dream is coming back into school today everyone

 **blood god:** would you say he is well enough to duel me?

 **gogy:** no 

**blood god:** pity

 **Dadza:** Right

 **Dadza:** Where is everyone right now?

 **gogy:** school why

 **blood god:** also school with skeppy and bad

 **jif:** can confkrom

 **snapmap:** 5 mins away from school i’m walking with karl

 **manlyman:** we saw tommy and tubbo on our way

 **furry:** still trapped under eret they fell asleep but i am warmer so it’s fine

 **Dadza:** Okay

 **Dadza:** Schlatt?

 **moneybags:** in the alley we’re setting off little fireworks

 **Dadza:** who is we’re

 **moneybags:** uh

 **moneybags:** Quackity?

 **Dadza:** oh okay

 **Dadza:** Do you know where Wilbur is?

 **Dadza:** Or anyone?

[ **_jif_** _added **appLe** and **spiffy** to **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **jif:** speak

 **appLe:** hello it’s harvey and i think geo is here too

 **appLe:** we saw wilbur running down towards one of the school alley things with a fire extinguisher

 **Dadza:** Thank you Harvey

 **appLe:** anytimeee Mr Pandel

 **Dadza:** Phil is fine

 **spiffy:** you’re welcome phil

 **child:** PHILZA MINECRAFT

 **Dadza:** Tommy

 **child:** PHILZA MINECRAFT

 **Dadza:** oh would you look at the Time it is time for me to get sorted for class

 **child:** how could you dad

 **Dadza:** Sorry Tommy work calls

[ **_Dadza_** _has temporarily muted **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **child:** i’m in only pain

 **moneybags:** okay so i was lying there guys

 **wimblur:** harvey

 **appLe:** hello wilbur soot

 **wimblur:** once i get sapnap you’re next

 **appLe:** i have someone who will protect me to the ends of the earth

 **wimblur:** only makes it more fun

 **snapmap:** wtf did i do

[ **_wimblur_** _replied to a message_ ]

 **> snapmap:** do it phil you won’t

 **wimblur:** you’re next

 **snapmap** : oh shit

 **wimblur:** watch out :)

 **snapmap:** @ **dre** @ **gogy** @ **badboyangel** please

 **gogy:** no

 **badboyangel:** I would but Skeppy is being very snuggly today so I can’t !

 **jif:** hehehehehehehebebbdhdhje

 **snapmap:** guys pLEASE IM GONNA DIE HES RIGHT THERE OH FOSB DOXKCNFNFN

 **child:** GOOD LUCK SAPNAP o7

 **bigT:** o7

 **furry:** o7

 **blood god:** o7

 **manlyman:** okay wilbur just came out of nowhere and threw sap over his shoulder and is now speed walking to an alley what do i do

 **child:** do not interfere

 **wimblur:** @ **blood god** the usual spot

 **blood god:** omw

 **manlyman:** is there anyone i can hang with

 **appLe:** come to cafe

 **manlyman:** okay!

_5:27PM_

**snapmap:** remind me to never go against wilburs word again

 **manlyman:** SAP

 **snapmap:** karl hello are you at home

 **manlyman:** i am i’ve been waiting for you for like two hours

 **snapmap:** sorry karl

 **manlyman:** it is okay

 **wimblur:** harvey

 **appLe:** no

 **spiffy:** wilbur could you postpone torturing him hes in a rough spot

 **spiffy:** like literally hes stuck at the top of the climbing frame

 **appLe:** ur laughing at me

 **appLe:** so it zak and vurb

 **spiffy:** lies

 **jif:** HAHhaAHaH UR SUTIKC AHAHHAHAHA

 **wimblur:** 3 days

 **appLe:** that’s ominous but okay

 **appLe:** george

 **spiffy:** yes

 **gogy:** what

 **appLe:** my george

 **spiffy:** yes harvey?

 **appLe:** please come back im cold

 **spiffy:** wait you actually can’t get down?

 **appLe:** nO why do you think i’ve been asking for help??? :(

 **spiffy:** oh my god i’m so sorry i’m coming back now

 **jif:** bad friend

 **appLe:** stfu ur a bad friend not coming back for me i’m heartbroekn

 **jif:** bad is better

 **appLe:** well geo is better than u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i miss the LA apartment guys :(
> 
> anywho, i hope you enjoyed this one! thank you so much for all of the kudos and the comments it means sosososososo much to me <3


	4. [blood god: i recognise those trees i’m on my way]

_10:27AM_

**purp:** who threw the phone through my window please

 **Dadza:** That was me, sorry Purpled

 **purp:** it’s fine can you help pay for it tho

 **Dadza:** How much is it? And of course

 **purp:** [ image sent ]

 **purp:** that’s the email i got

 **Dadza:** I’ll pay it all, dm me your paypal

 **purp:** thank you mr panel

 **Dadza:** Phil is fine

_11:28AM_

**bigT:** hello everyone i’m just checking if eret and fundy are okay

 **gogy:** do you not have a family group chat

 **bigT:** no?

 **furry:** we abandoned the car and are walking through a forest my phone is almost dead

 **furry:** erets died last night because they thought it would b funny to play scary ambience while i was trying to sleep

 **furry:** it scared the shit out of my i'm so pissed

 **appLe:** have you been there for two days

 **furry:** nah

 **furry:** one and a half

 **furry:** we only left because our phones are almost dead

 **appLe:** i see

 **furry:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **furry:** does anyone know where this is

 **blood god:** i recognise those trees i’m on my way

 **furry:** haha okay techno

 **wimblur:** hes not lying he just stole dads car and drove off towards the shopping centre

 **Dadza:** he what

 **wimblur:** don’t worry about it

_12:03PM_

**moneybags:** can someone explain why i just saw Tech driving over the speed limit with an unconscious Eret and screaming Fundy in the back of the car

 **Dadza:** what

 **blood god:** dad we are almost home can you please get the first aid kit thanks

 **moneybags:** ARE YOU TEXTING WHILE DRIVING

 **blood god:** don’t worry about it

 **Dadza:** Techno I’m teaching

 **blood god:** @ **everyone**

 **blood god:** who is home and has first aid kit

 **niki:** i do!

 **blood god:** thank you niki nihachu please standby your brother is injured

 **niki:** what

 **furry:** ERET HIT HIS HEAD NIKI AND ITS BLEEDING FUCK NIKI PLEASE GET THE STUFF READY I HAVE EXTRA BANDAGES IN MY ROOM IF YOU NEED THEM

 **niki:** okay i will

 **niki:** but you’re going to explain exactly what happened when he’s fixed up fundy

 **furry:** YES MA’AM

**_\- - - - -_ **

Now, Fundy wasn’t scared of many things, and the few things that did scare him were normal, like darkness, scary noises and his own Minecraft difficulty.

There was however, one thing, or rather person, that could kill you with one glare, that could make you wish you’d never crossed them. And that person was Niki.

And when Niki was mad, oh _boy,_ she was mad. 

Admittedly, few people had seen her mad, as she tried her hardest to be the sweet and soft-spoken girl she was known as in their friend group. But those who had, well, lets just they knew not to make her mad again.

So, as Fundy was screeching at the top of his lungs with his best friend sprawled across his lap, passed out, he remembered how scary Niki could get. And that thought alone shut him up for the remainder of the drive home. (Techno had never been more thankful for whatever god had blessed him in that moment.)

As the trio reached their destination, Fundy noticed a shadow in the window that quickly moved when the car pulled to a stop. Techno pulled Eret over his shoulder and dragged them towards the front door of the house as the fox enthusiast slowly followed, trying to make himself as small as possible.

After a few knocks, the door swung open to reveal Niki, a concerned look plastered on her face. She ushered Techno and Fundy inside, gently closing the door behind her, before making her way to the trio in the kitchen.

Techno propped Eret up on a seat and said his goodbyes before setting off, muttering about how he was so dead when he got home. This left Fundy and Niki in an awkward silence while Niki tended to Eret’s wounds. The silence was broken when Niki spoke, her voice still soft, yet laced with venom.

“So, Fundy,” she murmured, “Care to explain what happened to my brother?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update day woooooooooooooooooooo!!!! 
> 
> this is the first part of a two-part chapter thingy so stay tuned for the next part coming out eventually (probably monday) :D  
> ALSO this is my first time doing like- actual writng, so please let me know how i did and how i can improve!!


	5. [bigT: can't you just call me like a normal person]

_4:39PM_

**niki:** hello everyone! i would just like to inform you all that eret and fundy are both fine, but both of them will be absent tomorrow

 **appLe:** tell eret to get better soon we have a project due on monday next week

 **niki:** of course

 **bigT:** niki

 **niki:** yes tubbo?

 **bigT:** if i help look after them can i stay off too

 **niki:** of course!!

 **child:** TUBBO

 **bigT:** TOMMY

 **child:** vc2

 **bigT:** can’t you just call me like a normal person

 **child:** TUBBO

 **bigT:** ..tommy

 **child:** vc2

 **child:** now

 **bigT:** fine

_7:29PM_

**wimblur:** tubbo why is tommy screaming at you to never pick up an instrument again

 **wimblur:** hes quite loud i can’t concentrate on my song tell him to stop

 **child:** HE PICKED UP HIS UKULELE AND STARTED SINGING FUCK YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN

 **bigT:** YOU PUT ME IN A GLASS BOX OF WATER AND MADE TUBBO BATH WATER

 **jif:** weirdxhjmp

 **dre:** agreed

 **dre:** which server are you on tubbo

 **bigT:** the server

 **dre:** okay

 **dre:** just wait.

 **bigT:** ?

 **bigT:** oh 

**bigT:** my ears dream why have you done this

 **child:** DREAM TOU SON OF A BITCH HNABN ME RIGHT NOW THIS IS UNFAIR AND UNCALLED FOR IT WAS A BIT IR WAS A FUNNY BIT PLEASE UNBAN ME TNE KIDS AT SCHOOL WILL MAKE FUN OF ME BECAUSE WILBUR WILL TELL THEM

 **wimblur:** i wouldn’t tell them that toms

 **wimblur:** i would however tellller fkricikcnfnfmkto

 **moneybags:** Phil have you taken his phone again

 **child:** NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE FUCK TUBBO IM COMING TO YOUR PLACE OKAY

 **Dadza:** TOMMY YOU LITTLE SHIT GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK

 **child:** FUCK YOU

 **bigT:** okay but you will have to be quiet because ert and fundy are asleep

 **child:** oh

 **child:** I WILL BE ON THE ROOF

 **child:** IN DE WALLS

 **bigT:** okay tommy :)

 **Dadza:** TOMMY HOW

 **blood god:** I told you he was a gremlin child, Wil

 **Dadza:** dad?

 **blood god:** Yes, please give me my phone back

 **Dadza:** toms has mine though

 **blood god:** You can tell me what to message him through mine or you can borrow Techno’s

 **blood god:** He's grounded for the rest of the night so you can talk with your brothers phone now

 **Dadza:** no

 **Dadza:** dad he just climbed up nikis house in less than 5seconds

 **Dadza:** what have you been feeding him

 **blood god:** Nutrients Wilbur, get home or you’re next on MY hit list

 **Dadza:** fine

 **Dadza:** you’ll live another day mr innit but i’m going to get you

_8:04PM_

**snapmap:** [ image sent ]

 **snapmap:** he do be vibin up there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update day!!
> 
> sorry for the later update- i was listening to Glass Animals and 2WEI-  
> shorter chapter, but this is kinda the beginning of a long sequence of chapters on the same day.. like a mini event!!
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated, thank you for the support <3


	6. [blood god: you like manhunt don't you?]

_8:38AM_

**Dadza:** Toms, why aren’t you at home?

 **wimblur:** i’m sleeping over at tubbos house in fear of the man who owns this phone

 **wimblur:** also stfu everyone except hes asleep

 **Dadza:** He?

 **wimblur:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **Dadza:** i see

 **Dadza:** why are you using wilbur’s phone btw

 **wimblur:** mine is on the floor and i slept with wilbur’s under the pillow so he couldn’t break in and steal it in the dead of night

 **Dadza:** ah

 **Dadza:** Well I have to get your brothers to college, have a good day

 **wimblur:** i will goodnight dad

**\- - - - -**

[ _private messages between **blood god** and **dre**_ ]

_9:26AM_

**blood god:** dream

 **dre:** techno?

 **blood god:** this is wilbur

 **blood god:** techno is getting told off by dad again so i took his phone

 **dre:** oh i see

 **dre:** whats up

 **blood god:** you like manhunt don't you?

 **dre:** i do

 **blood god:** how would you feel about manhunting tommy for my phone back

 **dre:** absolutely

 **dre:** but it has to be fair, so we'll start at lunch and let him have a team

 **blood god:** fine

 **blood god:** who is on our team

 **dre:** i'll ask the usuals

 **dre:** and make a gc w the people who said yes

**\- - - - -**

[ _**dre** created group **phone manhunt hunters**_ ]

[ _**dre** added **blood god** and **snapmap** to **phone manhunt hunters**_ ]

_9:57AM_

**dre:** george said he didn't want to and bad is busy doing stuff with the idots

 **snapmap:** so there is just us vs tommy, most likely tubbo and probably the entire school

 **snapmap:** thats 3v100 dream

 **snapmap:** and we're hunting

 **blood god:** 4* and maybe five let me ask someone

 **snapmap:** wtf

 **blood god:** this is wilbur

 **blood god:** also say hi

[ _**blood god** added **moneybags** to **phone manhunt hunters**_ ]

 **dre:** since when were you two on good terms

 **moneybags:** we've been on good terms for years Dream

 **dre:** but the fireworks

 **moneybags:** that was when we were kids and had this war and Wilbur blew up my fucking nation with fireworks under the podium

 **blood god:** dream you supplied me with most of the fireworks because my dad only let me have two >:(

 **blood god:** also the podium was a pitiful stack of amazon boxes stfu

 **moneybags:** YOU MADE IT???

 **blood god:** YOU STOLE IT FROM ME

 **moneybags:** I RIGHTFULLY WON THE ELECTION YOU WERE JUST SALTY YOU LOST YOUR POWER

 **blood god:** YOU RUINED MY NATION AND GAVE TUBBO NIGHTMARES FOR WEEKS

 **moneybags:** YOU GAVE TOMMY NIGHTMARES SO BAD THAT TECHNO HAD TO TRY AND STOP YOU

 **moneybags:** AND YOU STILL DIDNT STOP

 **moneybags:** you only stopped when Phil came and took you away because the kids were crying because of the fireworks

 **blood god:** and that was after you died of a sTROKE AND A HEART ATTACK

 **moneybags:** AYYYYY IT WAS A WELL WRITTEN DEATH FUCK YOU

 **snapmap:** didn't i accidentally burn down tubbos little base thing

 **blood god:** you did and thats why we declared war on you

 **snapmap:** good times

 **dre:** we're getting off topic here

 **dre:** is there anyone else?

 **snapmap:** let me add someone

[ _**snapmap** added **manlyman** to **phone manhunt hunters**_ ]

 **manlyman:** I AM HERE TO KICK CHILD

 **snapmap:** KARL NO

 **manlyman:** i am honored that you wanted me here oh great dream

 **dre:** i didn't

 **dre:** but are you willing to help us

 **manlyman:** yea!!

 **blood god:** so who do we have on our team

 **blood god:** me, techno

 **dre:** me

 **snapmap:** me

 **manlyman:** me!!

 **moneybags:** i'll help i guess

 **blood god:** then its settled

 **blood god:** dream?

 **dre:** yeah i'll tell tommy to get a team of six people together before 12

 **manlyman:** wait can it be 1 i have class at 12

 **dre:** when does ur class end

 **manlyman:** 12:10

 **dre:** we start at 12:30

 **manlyman:** right

 **dre:** TO WILBURS PHONE

 **snapmap:** TO WILBURS PHONE

 **manlyman:** TO WILBURS PHONE

 **moneybags:** TO WILBURS PHONE

 **blood god:** TO WILBURS PHONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update day pog
> 
> i'm late updating again but oh well  
> uh- hope you enjoyed this one!!  
> its the beginning of a long line of chapters on the same day so i hope you all enjoy it
> 
> much love <3


	7. [child: wat]

[ **OnlyPain** ]

_10:12AM_

**dre:** @ **child** tommy

 **child:** wat

 **dre:** get a team of 6 people including urself and make sure you'er nowhere near school at 12:30PM

 **child:** what

 **blood god:** manhunt

 **child:** why

 **blood god:** this is wilbur

 **child:** @ **bigT** TUBBO

 **bigT:** i am literally sat next to you

 **bigT:** but yea i'm on tommys team fuck you technoblade

 **Dadza:** I'm helping Tommy

 **blood god:** TRAITOR

 **appLe:** i have no class today can i join in

 **child:** YES THANK YOU

 **appLe:** i'll ask geo i'm sure he'll say yes tho

 **blood god:** harvey this is just going to worsen ur sentence

 **appLe:** i wont have one if you dont catch me <3

 **appLe:** plus you said three days like yesterday or something

 **blood god:** you have tomorrow left

 **appLe:** awesome

 **spiffy:** hello everyone i'll help out tommy

 **niki:** hello! i will also help

 **bigT:** niki :D

 **niki:** tubbo! :D

 **dre:** alright thats enough we only have 6 of us

 **child:** OKAY DREAM

 **Dadza:** You guys are lucky I took today off

 **child:** WHERE ARE YOU PHILZA MINECRAFT

 **Dadza:** I'm on my way to where three of you are

 **Dadza:** Harvey where are you

 **appLe:** park

 **Dadza:** Which one?

 **appLe:** the

 **Dadza:** Go to the McDonalds near there

 **appLe:** okay :)

 **dre:** no cars when it turns 12:30 also no going far away while ur allowed to use cars

 **Dadza:** thats fair

_11:32AM_

**bigT:** tommy wants to know if we can have a head start

 **dre:** sure

 **dre:** don’t leave the city tho

 **dre:** or like the immediate area

 **Dadza:** Half an hour drive?

 **dre:** sure

 **blood god:** AT SPEED LIMIT NO GOING OVER SPEED LIMIT PHILZA MINECRAFT

 **Dadza:** Me? Speeding? Never

 **blood god:** [ _video sent_ ]

 **Dadza:** ..

 **child:** DAD????

 **Dadza:** Tommy come downstairs we are discussing our plans

 **child:** SHOULD I BRING TUBBO????

 **Dadza:** Yes

 **child:** OKAY

**\- - - - -**

Tommy rushed down the stairs, jumping down two steps at a time with Tubbo barely staying upright as he was dragged behind his best friend. The duo eventually came to an abrupt stop when they reached the front door where Niki and Phil were waiting for them.

After letting Tommy get his breath back and Tubbo regain his balance, the doorway fell silent until Niki spoke up,

“Where are we going?” she asked, running a hand through her hair. They sat for a few minutes, seemingly thinking about places that would be difficult for their ‘opponents’ to find them.

“We could go to the forest? The one where Techno found Eret and Fundy,” Phil suggested.

The trio nodded in agreement almost immediately and they went out to the car. Phil and Niki sat in the front, Tubbo and Tommy sat in the back and then they drove off towards McDonalds to pick up Harvey and Spifey.

The car journey was mostly silent, with only a few laughs coming from the boys hushed whispers in the back. Eventually they arrived at McDonalds and the duo got in the car (albeit they barely fit) and they began their drive to the forest.

**\- - - - -**

[ _private messages between **furry** and **bigT**_ ]

_10:46AM_

**furry:** you left wilbur’s phone here

 **bigT:** did we actually

 **furry:** yeah you did

 **bigT:** fundy

 **furry:** tubbo

 **bigT:** if we actually have thats so much lost time holy shit

 **furry:** yeah it would suck

 **bigT:** wait a second

 **bigT:** tommy is literally

 **bigT:** MAN

 **furry:** DID I ACTUALLY GET YOU

 **bigT:** YES I WAS WORRIED

 **bigT:** SCREW YOU FUNDY

 **furry:** HAHHAHAHAHA


	8. [child: YOU IMPLIED IT]

_11:37AM_

**dre:** one hour are you guys ready

 **Dadza:** Yes, we’re just playing truth or dare while we wait

 **dre:** awesome

 **bigT:** tommy is stuck up a tree it’s very funny

 **child:** TUBBO DONT TELL THEM THAT YOU JUST COMPROMISED US

 **bigT:** but i didn’t tell them where we were

 **child:** YOU IMPLIED IT

 **Dadza:** Tommy if you didn’t react negatively to that then they wouldn’t have an idea of where we are

 **child:** ARE YOU BLAMING ME FOR THIS

 **child:** FUCK YOU PHILZA MINECRAFT

 **Dadza:** I won’t help you down then

 **child:** WAIT NO GUYS DONT LEAVE ME HERE

 **Dadza:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **blood god:** i recognise those trees

 **Dadza:** We’re moving anyway

 **blood god:** oh

 **Dadza:** :)

 **jif:** SPIDEYE

 **spiffy:** what do you want

 **jif:** wHERE AR TOU SPIDEY

 **spiffy:** with harvey

 **appLe:** thats a lie where are you

 **jif:** NO HRU LIKE WHEREEEE

 **spiffy:** just with harvey :)

 **spiffy:** quality time y’know

 **jif:** NOOOO WHYY BYF WHEREEE

 **appLe:** GEO WHERE AR ETIUI

 **spiffy:** ???

 **spiffy:** @ **badboyangel** your boyfriend is broken

 **badboyangel:** we’re not dating spiffy but i will take care of him thank you

 **jif:** we’re not datingv?????

[ **_jif_** _left **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **spiffy:** look what you’ve done bad

 **badboyangel:** WAIT GEPPY

[ **_badboyangel_** _added **jif** to **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **badboyangel:** skeppy i’m sorry ;-;

 **jif:** it’s okay

 **jif:** where rbu

 **badboyangel:** in class with karl!

 **jif:** @ **manlyman** wya

 **manlyman:** computing

 **jif:** which one

 **manlyman:** 6

 **jif:** omw

 **spiffy:** and you say you aren’t dating

 **spiffy:** btw can i quickly add some people :)

 **dre:** after we get u

 **dre:** don’t want you having extra eyes

 **spiffy:** fair

 **appLe:** GEO STOP IGNORING ME WHERE ARE YOU

**\- - - - -**

Phil was used to looking after kids, he willingly adopted the three chaotic gremlins who currently lived with him, but the group he was with was an entirely different breed.

Currently (and much to Phil’s dismay), Tommy was stuck in a tree and Tubbo and Niki were playing Uno together, completely ignoring his yells for help. Harvey was quite far away; he was only identified by his bright red hoodie. He was looking for Spifey, who had gone missing a few minutes before.

Tommy’s shouts only grew louder and more desperate as he accidentally swung himself upside-down. Tubbo and Niki still ignored him and Harvey’s yells were lost to the trees.

So, as the chaos continued, Phil took to sitting down against a tree, opening Twitter and blocking out all external stimulus.

It was going to be a long day.

**\- - - - -**

Tommy was not having a good time at all. They’d played a harmless, or _seemingly_ harmless, game of truth or dare, in which Tommy was dared to climb up a tree. He did so without much complaint and got about halfway up until Tubbo yelled at him to stop or the branches would start to snap under his weight.

Tommy had laughed at him at the time. Tommy was not laughing now.

When the blonde realised he couldn’t get down the tree, he may have started to panic slightly. Not because he was scared of heights or that he might starve to death. No, the threat of Dream catching him was terrifying.

And so when his pleads for help went unnoticed by his best friend and his own father, he made an attempt to get down himself.

Lets just say, that didn’t end well for him.

**\- - - - -**

“Geo, for the last time, where the fuck are you?” Harvey yelled as he stumbled through the trees. His friend had walked off, claiming he'd be back in a few minutes but he hadn't returned yet.

Albiet, it had only been 5 minutes but that didn't stop Harvey from worrying. What was even more worrying was the fact that Spifey was in fact _ignoring him_. Whether it was over texts or in real life, the Brit was seemingly avoiding the man.

After about five more minutes of looking, yelling and almost falling over, Harvey gave up and went back to Phil and the others.

What he came back to was definitely a sight to see, and he most certainly didn’t pass up on the opportunity to take a photo.

**\- - - - -**

Tubbo can’t really remember the events that lead to his unconscious best friend practically pinning him down to the forest floor. The game of truth or dare ended pretty quickly when Tommy got stuck up that tree and him, Niki and Phil didn’t do much to help him out.

The next thing he knew was he was playing Uno with Niki while Phil sat against a tree, scrolling through his phone. Harvey and Spifey were nowhere to be seen.

Then there was louder yelling, which he tuned out pretty well.

Then came the sharp snap of a branch, a _very_ loud screech of fear and something falling on top of him.

Maybe he should help his friends when they’re in trouble next time.

**\- - - - -**

What Spifey had come to realise is that the forest they were in was quite thick and very difficult to navigate. When he’d left the group, he planned to pee (which he did) and go back to the others after waiting about 20 minutes. He desperately needed a break from Tommy's yells.

He’d then gotten spammed with messages from both Skeppy and Harvey and had thought it would be a good idea to ignore Harvey, y’know _as a joke_. He would’ve dmed him after about 10 minutes! It was going to be fine!

Then his phone died.

Needless to say, Tommy’s team would probably be down one member for quite a while.


	9. [dre: tough luck]

_12:18PM_

[ _phone manhunt hunters_ ]

 **manlyman:** where are you guys me and bad just finished eating

 **dre:** we’re waiting in the parking lot

 **dre:** by sapnaps car

 **manlyman:** i thought he walked today?

 **snapmap:** i went home and got it

 **manlyman:** i see i see

 **manlyman:** i’ll be there in a few

 **dre:** we’ll be waiting here for you

\- - - - -

[ _OnlyPain_ ]

_12:28PM_

**dre:** @ **child** @ **bigT** @ **Dadza** @ **appLe** @ **spiffy** @ **niki** are you guys ready

 **appLe:** NO

 **dre:** tough luck

 **gogy:** good luck everyone may the best win

 **blood god:** TOMMY IM GETTING MY PHONE BACK

 **child:** ID LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY BIG MAN

 **appLe:** WAIT WE’RE MISSING GEO

 **snapmap:** you’ll find him harvey don’t worry

 **appLe:** HOW??

 **snapmap:** by his screams when we get him <3

 **appLe:** DJDOOFFJJDKXJD

 **dre:** righty then

 **dre:** 3

 **dre:** 2

 **dre:** 1

 **dre:** time to hunt

\- - - - -

It was too goddamn warm. The music was annoying as all hell. The screams were too loud.

Now, they thought they could all fit in the car sensibly, but their arrangement ended up being anything but.

Wilbur and Techno practically sat on top of each other, with Karl sat squished up next to them. Sapnap was driving and Schlatt was in the passenger seat blasting ‘Giga Pudding’ on repeat.

Dream definitely couldn’t fit _in_ the car, so he decided to just ducktape himself to the back of it and pretend to be a siren for most of the journey.

By the end of the drive, Sapnap was definitely going to ban everyone who was there currently from getting lifts from him ever again.

\- - - - -

After Tommy had woken up from his fall (20 painful minutes for both Tubbo and Phil), the group left their original spot and began walking deeper into the forest, in an attempt to both get away from their enemies and try to find Spifey.

“He couldn’t have gotten too far, right?” Harvey asked quietly, his finger tapping on his leg as they walked on.

“We’ll find him Harvey, don’t worry!” Niki exclaimed, smiling brightly.

The others agreed and continued on their peaceful walk.

Little did they know it would soon go downhill very _very_ quickly.

\- - - - - 

**dre:** hey @ **appLe** ?

 **appLe:** yea?

 **dre:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **dre:** look up <3

 **appLe:** WHAT THRIICE FCIKEKELH


	10. [gogy: have you guys considered his phone died]

[ _OnlyPain_ ]

_12:57PM_

**child:** SPIFEY NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO SHOW UP WHERE ARE YOU

 **gogy:** have you guys considered his phone died

 **child:** FUUUUUUUUUCK

 **child:** THEY GOT TAPL WHAT DO WE DO

 **appLe:** GO ON WITHOUT ME GUYS o7

 **bigT:** o7

 **child:** o7

 **Dadza:** o7

 **niki:** o7

 **lgbbq:** shouldn’t you guys be focused on running

 **furry:** SHOULDNT YOU BE FOCUSED ON STAYING IN BED ERET GET OFF YOUR PHONE

 **lgbbq** : fundy!

 **lgbbq:** i was checking twitter :)

 **furry:** UR HEAD IS LITERALLY BANDAGED UP RIGHT NOW

 **lgbbq:** i’m fine fundo don’t you worry

 **furry:** i am worrying though

 **lgbbq:** simply stop <3

 **child:** THEY GOT NIKI

**\- - - - -**

Running was the only option for Tommy and Tubbo. It was only those two left: Niki and Harvey had gotten caught, Spifey was nowhere to be found and Phil had decided to give up after about five minutes, which consequently left Dream and Karl as the only two hunters left.

The crunch of the dead leaves under their feet was the only thing they could hear, other than the threatening yells from behind them. The winter air was cold and harsh against their exposed cheeks.

Four sets of footsteps echoed through the trees. Then there was a crash, and only two remained.

“Go on without me Tubbo!” the familiar blonde yelled. Tubbo turned to look behind him and saw Karl slowing down and Dream pinning his best friend to the forest floor. He saluted and continued to run as fast as he could in an attempt to get as far away as possible.

He clutched the extra phone in his pocket, smiling to himself.

Unlucky. Truly unlucky.

They caught the wrong guy.


	11. [blood god: she’s great]

[ _phone manhunt hunters_ ]

_1:28PM_

**manlyman:** we have no need for this chat since we got tommy right?

 **blood god:** yeah we can delete it

 **blood god:** i finally have my fucking phone back

 **manlyman:** when we get back

 **blood god:** of course

 **moneybags:** i’m never running again thank you for letting me take Niki back she was sweet

 **moneybags:** yet she had a malicious undertone i like her

 **blood god:** she’s great

[ _**blood god** has deleted **phone manhunt hunters**_ ]

**\- - - - -**

[ _OnlyPain_ ]

_1:32PM_

**blood god:** how far away are you guys

 **manlyman:** almost there!

 **bigT:** phil i can’t believe you just abandoned us

 **Dadza:** Sorry Tubbo

 **bigT:** it’s okay philza minecraft i still escaped

 **Dadza:** Ah

 **Dadza:** Well that changes quite a bit

 **blood god:** wdym?

 **Dadza:** Tommy is back

 **wimblur:** hey guys

 **niki:** hi wil!

 **moneybags:** hello wilbur

 **gogy:** nice

 **furry:** hi wil!!

 **lgbbq:** nice to see you’ve got your phone back wilbur!

 **furry:** eret

 **lgbbq:** fundo :D

 **furry:** :D

 **wimblur:** haha

 **furry:** ?

 **wimblur:** this isn’t wilbur soot :)

 **blood god:** WHO ARE YOU WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HSVR MY PHONE GIVE IT BACK YOU CUNT

 **child:** DONT BE MEAN TO BIG T WILBUR

 **child:** GOOD ON YOU TUBBO WELL DONE WELL DONE

 **bigT:** thank you tommy :D

 **dre:** oh my god

 **blood god:** WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF GETTING TUBBO

 **blood god:** WHO WAS IT

 **snapmap:** it was me but then i took harvey back so

 **appLe:** yeah it hurt :(

 **snapmap:** what hurt

 **appLe:** you made me trip over and it hurt :(

 **snapmap:** oh i’m really sorry i didn’t mean to :(

 **appLe:** i forgive you

 **blood god:** ...

 **blood god:** harvey you are free

 **blood god:** sapnap?

 **snapmap:** NOT AGAIN PLEASE NO I DONT WANNA GO TO THE ALLEY AGAIN

 **blood god:** tomorrow, 10AM

 **blood god:** you’re next

 **manlyman:** f

 **child:** o7

 **bigT:** o7

 **wimblur:** o7

 **furry:** did you just use wilbur’s phone to put another o7

 **wimblur:** yes :D

_4:38PM_

**bigT:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **bigT:** guys i found spifey!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **appLe:** WHERE

 **bigT:** in the forest !!!!!!!

 **bigT:** he says hi!!!!!!

 **appLe:** why did he ignore me ?

 **bigT:** [ _voice recording sent_ ]

 **appLe:** god ur an idiot geo

 **appLe:** come home soon i won’t be able to put up with vurb and finn for another hour at the rate they’re going

 **bigT:** we’re on our way back now tapl

 **appLe:** awesome :D


	12. [blood god: you truly are... a blessing]

_8:03AM_

**blood god:** tubbo

 **bigT:** hello wilbur or techno

 **blood god:** it’s techno can you please give wilbur his phone back he won’t stop whining about it i havent slept

 **Dadza:** Can vouch it’s the bane of our existence currently please give it back

 **bigT:** uh

 **bigT:** @ **child** should i give it back?

 **child:** GOD YES THIS BITCH IS SO ANNOYING LIKE A LITTLE CHILD WHO LOST HIS FAVOURITE PLUSHIE FUCKING HELL

 **bigT:** alright i’ll come over with it!!

 **blood god:** thank you tubbo

 **blood god:** you truly are... a blessing

 **bigT:** thank you technblade

_11:23AM_

**spiffy:** hey my phone is charged

 **jif:** PSIFEY WLEKCJNE BACHKKKK!!!!!!!!!

 **badboyangel:** Welcome back Spiffy!!

 **spiffy:** ty

 **appLe:** smh

 **spiffy:** :D

 **spiffy:** @ **dre** since wilbur’s got his phone back can i add the people

 **dre:** how many

 **spiffy:** like

 **spiffy:** 3-4

 **dre:** eh

 **dre:** sure

 **spiffy:** everyone ignore the toe guy

 **spiffy:** he threatened me when i said i wouldn’t add him

**appLe:** he did WHAT 

****

[ _**spiffy** added **pug** , **rosetwitch** , **furrybitch** and **cutemute** to **OnlyPain**_ ]

****

**spiffy:** everyone welcome

****

**spiffy:** feel free to do an introduction :D

****

**rosetwitch:** it’s finn i’m an egirl called rose i have nails

****

**bigT:** hi finnster!

****

**rosetwitch:** hello tubster

****

**furrybitch:** why is my name this

****

**furrybitch:** wtf geo

****

**spiffy:** :)

****

**furrybitch:** why is it furry bitch and not just furry??? like bruhhhh

****

**furry:** that’s taken already

****

**furrybitch:** LMFAO

****

[ _**furrybitch** changed their name to **zelkam**_ ]

****

[ _**badboyangel** changed **zelkam** ’s name to **zelkham**_ ]

****

**zelkham:** ??

****

**zelkham:** okay then bad

****

**pug:** hello

****

**jif:** is that

****

**spiffy:** sadly yes

****

**pug:** toes

****

[ _**jif** has set the chat to **Admin Only** mode_ ]

****

**pug:** i can still speak wtf was that meant to combat

****

[ _**jif** revoked admin power from **pug**_ ]

****

**jif:** there

****

**spiffy:** rejoice

****

**zelkham:** oh thank god

****

**bigT:** hello guys i’d like you to know that tommy isn’t happy

****

**bigT:** he has a message for all of you

****

**bigT:** TAKR THE CAHT OF THIS MODE RIGHHT NOW THIS IS DISCRIMINATION THIS IS SO FUCKING DUMB AND STUPID LET ME SPEAK DREAM YOU GREEN BASTARD AND FUCK YOU SKEPPY LET ME SPEAK

****

**lgbbq:** hello! fundy feels the same way

****

**jif:** @ **rosetwitch** is he gonna behave

****

**rosetwitch:** sure is bud

****

[ _**jif** has set the chat to **All** mode_ ]

****

**child:** never do that ever again

****

**furry:** seconded

****

**jif:** sorry

****

**pug:** toes

****

[ _**jif** removed **pug** from **OnlyPain**_ ]

****

_11:20PM_

****

**cutemute:** why the fuck am i here i hate all of you so much

****


	13. [cutemute: fuck all of you]

_3:27AM_

**zelkham:** that’s not very nice mega :(

 **cutemute:** fuck all of you

[ _**cutemute** muted **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **zelkham:** the audacity

 **spiffy:** sucks to be you

 **zelkham:** you lost 3 challenges against me in a row

 **spiffy:** SHUT UPPP

_9:15AM_

**bigT:** guys me tommy and purp have our gcses for the next few weeks so we are going to be revising and not as active

 **wimblur:** that’s a lie you’re not going to study at all

 **bigT:** wilbur soot

 **bigT:** lies

 **child:** I AM GOING TO STUDY WITH TUBBO IN THE LIBRARY AFTER SCHOOL WILBUR JUST TO SPITE YOU

 **wimblur:** YOU WONT

 **child:** I WILL

 **child:** @ **bigT**

 **bigT:** i am sat right next to you

 **child:** LIBRARY TONIGHT?

 **bigT:** i have gardening club tonight

 **child:** @ **purp**

 **purp:** i have a life and i’m studying with astelic and sammy

 **child:** who will i study with then :(

 **blood god:** i’ll help

 **child:** YOU MEAN THAT????

 **blood god:** yeah but you owe me a weeks worth of coffee 

**child:** THE BLADEEE

 **wimblur:** did dad tell you to

 **Dadza:** i did

 **blood god:** he threatened my potatoes wilbur

_11:16AM_

**wimblur:** has anyone seen sapnap?

 **wimblur:** if you have please bring him to The Alley, schlatt quackity and i are waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beach episode my ass holy shit /dsmp
> 
> also shorter chapter woo poggers :D  
> i am struggling for ideas if you have any you wanna share in the comments please do-
> 
> anywho i love you all so so much <3  
> thank you for all of the supportive comments n kudos, it really really makes my week <33


	14. [purp: i can’t wait to beat you at baking]

_4:28PM_

**snapmap:** why

 **wimblur:** may that be a lesson to you

 **wimblur:** don’t

 **manlyman:** guys!

 **snapmap:** karl!

 **manlyman:** can i add someone ? :D

 **snapmap:** of course

 **manlyman:** dream?

 **manlyman:** @ **dre**

 **dre:** sure

[ _**manlyman** added **mi perdonas** to **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **mi perdonas:** AYYYYYY

 **manlyman:** AYYYYY

 **moneybags:** AYYYYY

 **snapmap:** AYYYYYY

 **child:** BIG Q

 **mi perdonas:** TOMMAYYYYY

 **mi perdonas:** MY FRIEND

 **wimblur:** is that big q

 **mi perdonas:** WILBUR SOOT

 **mi perdonas:** HELLO!

 **wimblur:** BIG Q

 **mi perdonas:** AYYYY

 **wimblur:** AYYYYYY

 **bigT:** BIG QQQQQQ

 **mi perdonas:** TURBOOOOO AYYYYY

 **bigT:** AYYYYYYYYYY

 **furry:** so many ayyyys

 **furry:** also don’t you two have exams tomorrow ?

 **bigT:** yes we have english tomorrow ! we had maths today! we should be studying

 **furry:** then go study

 **mi perdonas:** fundy?

 **furry:** yea?

 **mi perdonas:** are you a furry

 **furry:** NO I AM NOT

 **wimblur:** hes in denial big q, ignore my son !

 **mi perdonas:** YESSIR

 **furry:** stOP STOP STOP

_7:20PM_

**dre:** @ **everyone**

 **dre:** since it is christmas soon, would you guys like to bake stuff this weekend?

 **wimblur:** sure

 **gogy:** why not

 **mi perdonas:** YES

 **child:** CAN I JOIN IN

 **dre:** yeah why do you think we’re doing it on the weekend

 **bigT:** POG

 **spiffy:** we would love to :D

 **snapmap:** oh we are so going to beat you

 **appLe:** it’s a competition?

 **dre:** it can be if you want it to be

 **blood god:** COMPETYIONS

 **zelkham:** i’ll do a competition

 **purp:** i’ll join as long as my people get to join

 **dre:** sure just don’t add em to the chat yet theres already a lot of new people

[ _**jif** added **stars** to **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **stars:** ??????

 **dre:** what did i just say

 **purp:** why her

 **stars:** why you

 **purp:** i can’t wait to beat you at baking

 **stars:** you say that like you can bake

 **purp:** and you say THAT like you can bake

 **stars:** I CAN BAKE???

 **purp:** YOU ALMOST BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN

 **stars:** THAT WAS SAMMYS FAULT

 **purp:** OH YEAH BLAME IT ON SAMMY

 **stars:** I WILL BECAUSE IT WAS SAMMY

 **dre:** you two are on the same team

 **stars:** wtf

 **purp:** WHY

 **dre:** you just are, you can have like 2 others too

 **stars:** hate it here

_10:53PM_

**dre:** @ **everyone**

 **dre:** [ _document sent_ ]

**\- - - - -**

// caps !! ( if you want me to change it to lowercase, please let me know! )

[ _googledocs - **teams-and-shit-dont-complain**_ ]

_**TEAMS:** _

**TEAM 1:**

TOMMY, PHIL, WILBUR, TECHNO

**TEAM 2:**

KARL, SAPNAP, QUACKITY, GEORGE

**TEAM 3:**

VURB, ZELK, FINN, MEGA

**TEAM 4:**

PURPLED, ASTELIC, SAMMY, GB80

**TEAM 5:**

SKEPPY, BAD, HARVEY, SPIFEY

**TEAM 6:**

ERET, FUNDY, TUBBO, NIKI

**JUDGES:**

SCHLATT, DREAM

SATURDAY AT 10:30AM SHARP IN THE COLLEGE KITCHENS.

BE THERE OR ELSE

WE ARE MAKING GINGERBREAD HOUSES! :)

\+ possible livestream who wants the clout?

**\- - - - -**

_11:42PM_

**zelkham:** WHY AM I WITH VURB

 **cutemute:** why am i with you

 **zelkham:** you know you love me ;)

 **blood god:** do i hear clout?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ITS LATER THAN USUAL I WAS WATCHING NIKI'S STREAM D:
> 
> also new event thingy!!! its gonna have more traditional (not texting) story-like writing and i am quite excited to fully develop it :D
> 
> i love you guys <3


	15. [Dadza: 10:30 go the fuck back to bed]

The week flew by faster than any other week that year. It was mostly spent studying, stressing out and sleeping (with the odd stream here and there). However, living up to their chaotic brand, Quackity and Karl both stole shopping carts in the middle of the night and rolled down hills blasting Coconut Mall.

Lets just say their housemates wasn’t happy to be woken up when they were brought home by the police.

After that, the rest of the week consisted of the usual chaos, people panicking over last minute projects, y’know the usual.

Then the big day came, Saturday.

The day they would see who was the best cook.

**\- - - - -**

_7:27AM_

**child:** WHEN ARE WE STARTING

 **Dadza:** 10:30 go the fuck back to bed

 **child:** CANT IM PLAYING MINECRAFT

 **blood god:** weren’t you playing minecraft yesterday night

 **child:** I HAVENT SLEPT

 **blood god:** mood

_8:36AM_

**dre:** all of the ingredients and extra stuff is bought

 **dre:** i’ve got fundy working on opening one of the side doors

 **rosetwitch:** like the door code?

 **dre:** yeah one of the teachers mentioned that all the passwords n shit are stored on the college system somewhere

 **badboyangel:** Language

 **lgbbq:** he looks like a hacker man

 **snapmap:** pics?

 **lgbbq:** [ _2 images sent_ ]

 **snapmap:** they’re so blurry

 **lgbbq:** yeah

 **bigT:** ERET

 **lgbbq:** yes?

 **bigT:** bring fundy downstairs with laptop we are googling recipoies

 **lgbbq:** omw

 **furry:** IM BUSY

 **lgbbq:** not anymore

_9:39AM_

**moneybags:** who is streaming

 **dre:** we’ve worked it out so one person per team is streaming their own area

 **moneybags:** who is it

 **purp:** i’m streaming

 **blood god** : o/

 **fundy:** iam

 **finn:** yo

 **spiffy:** AYEEEE

 **spiffy:** wait wrong phone

 **appLe:** AYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE pt2

 **mi perdonas:** AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 **dre:** how did you

 **appLe:** don't ask questions

 **dre:** oh

 **moneybags:** awesome

 **appLe:** very much so

_10:11AM_

**mi perdonas:** 11:11 everuone make a wish <333

 **manlyman:** i wish to always be with you quackity <3

 **snapmap:** WTF

 **manlyman:** SAP

 **manlyman:** ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

 **furry:** before this gets worse i got the code for the door closest to the kitchens

 **Dadza:** you could’ve just asked me to open it

 **Dadza:** you know that right

 **dre:** wait

 **furry:** .......

 **child:** ur joking

 **bigT:** oh my god

 **wimblur:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **wimblur:** why he sad? :(

 **furry:** read up

 **furry:** i haven’t slept

 **wimblur:** .

 **wimblur:** oh my god you guys are such dumbasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO update day update day
> 
> very excited for next chapter yesyes <3
> 
> love u guys so so much :D


	16. [“Tommy give me back the fucking flour!”]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated character list! (sorry for forgetting it last chapter D:)  
> dre - dream  
> gogy - george  
> snapmap - sapnap  
> wimblur- wilbur  
> Dadza - philza  
> blood god - technoblade  
> child - tommy  
> bigT - tubbo  
> lgbbq- eret  
> furry - fundy  
> niki - nihachu  
> jif- skeppy  
> badboyangel - badboyhalo  
> spiffy - spifey  
> appLe - tapl  
> purp - purpled  
> stars - astelic  
> moneybags - schlatt  
> rosetwitch - finnster  
> zelkham - zelkam  
> cutemute - megapvp  
> pug - vurb (may change in the future)  
> manlyman - karl jacobs
> 
> i believe that's everyone! if i missed anyone, please let me know <3

Everyone arrived at around the same time, with only Mega and Zelk arriving a bit later than everyone else. The streams had been set up by Dream and Schlatt beforehand, with cameras and the lot.

Dream, Techno and Mega were all using something to cover their face (whether it was a paper plate with a smile, an incredibly detailed pig mask with glasses taped to it or a bandana) and everyone else was wearing something similar to their Minecraft skins.

They all got ingredients and equipment and got into place.

“Okay, on one!” Dream announced, clapping his hands together to get peoples attention.

“3,

2,

1!”

**\- - - - -**

“Tommy give me back the fucking flour!” Wilbur yelled, chasing his younger brother around the counter. The brother in question screeched in delight as he _accidentally_ knocked over the bowl of egg yolks onto the floor, which consequently resulted in Wilbur falling over.

As the youngest laughed, the eldest (by two minutes) and Phil watched in dismay as they mixed the ingredients. Techno was focused on the icing whereas Phil was focused on the dough.

They were both just vibing peacefully until Tommy got tripped over and the flour went in Technos hair and all over his clothes.

That’s when all hell broke loose in the sleepy boys area.

**\- - - - -**

Now, if you thought _that_ was chaotic, well, you’re in a treat for the next team.

They’d honestly given up on baking, and were now more focused on making sure Quackity and Karl didn’t eat the raw egg. Not only that, but George was awkwardly third-wheeling the other three on his team, who had claimed to be fiancé’s and that they were getting married right then and there.

What made matters worse was that Bad offered to legally wed them, since he could do that. They had agreed, and now 36.8k people were watching them get married.

What a wild ride.

**\- - - - -**

Zelk doesn’t know why he agreed to make a gingerbread house. Zelk doesn’t know why he agreed to be on a team with Mega, or Vurb, or even Finn. They were the bane of his entire existence to begin with.

So now that Mega was slowly approaching him with a knife in his hand, the thoughts ran through his head as he begged for forgiveness (what he had done wrong, he had _no_ clue).

He glanced over at his other teammates and his heart dropped when he realised they were bothering on the floor, covered in flour, butter and sugar giggling to themselves.

Well great.

**\- - - - -**

To put it simply, Eighty had no idea what to do. His friends had started the baking off strong, but now that they were one hour in, the confidence and self-control had obviously worn off.

Sammy was currently draped across the counter, muttering about how Purpled continuously rejected him. The Australian looked utterly heartbroken at the events.

Speaking of, the purple-eyed teenager was currently arguing with Astelic about something a donation had said. (Eighty couldn’t remember what it was, but it was something utterly stupid.)

He did try to make something presentable out of what they had done so far, and he reckons it looked pretty good.

The taste was a different story though.

**\- - - - -**

After legally marrying Karl, Quackity and Sapnap, Bad went to his team, a huge grin on his face. He dodged the flying bags of sugar and decorations as he made his way back to his best friend.

However, when he arrived, he was greeted by a sad-faced Skeppy.

“Can you marry us Bad?” Skeppy pleaded, kneeling down on the floor and hugging Bad’s leg, “Pretty please?”

Bad stood and thought for a second, before shaking his head and shooting the short man an apologetic smile.

Every stream could hear Skeppy’s overdramatic screams of agony.

**\- - - - -**

Niki strongly believed that her team was performing the best out of all of them. Their counter was as clean as it could be, their cookies were in the oven and everything was ready for decorating.

She was surprised that there hadn’t been much chaos, but apparently when it came to competition, her little brother and best friend were both incredibly focused on winning. Her and Eret had joked around a bit with them, but overall it was a chill stream. (Or as chill as a chill stream can get with inhumane screaming in the background.)

At some point, Tommy had made his way over to them and helped them decorate the cookies. He did it surprisingly well, until Techno spotted him and he said a quick goodbye before booking it.

They got finished within the time frame they had, and before putting the cookies away in a safe space, they said sweet goodbyes to the stream and everyone else in the kitchens.

Lets just say, Tubbo had to stop himself from eating all of the cookies due to the tastiness of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i edited this while listening to tommy's stream and let me tell you that man cannot decide for shit oh my god
> 
> anywho, no actual texts this time! very much regular writing style as i thought texting couldn't portray the utter chaos in this chapter, but we will be back to normal next chapter!


	17. [gogy: why did it take you so long]

_8:37PM_

**dre:** ok we tasted everything

 **gogy:** why did it take you so long

 **dre:** i had class

 **purp:** you have class on saturday???

 **dre:** extra stuff, techno used to have them too

 **blood god:** they suck

 **dre:** mhm

 **dre:** and another reason why it took a while is because a few of them were so bad they made me sick

 **snapmap:** it obviously wasn’t ours

 **manlyman:** of course

 **mi perdonas:** YESSIR

 **dre:** yours was literally raw cookie dough wtf

 **dre:** anyway third place to first

 **wimblur:** wait why is schlatt not talking as well??

 **dre:** he tried george’s

 **wimblur:** oh

 **dre:** yeah anyway

 **dre:** third place was @ **stars** and @ **purp** ‘s team! it tasted like shit but looked better than most people’s and was partially baked

 **stars:** woo!

 **purp:** HELL YEAH

 **dre:** second place was @ **Dadza** @ **blood god** @ **wimblur** and @ **child** ‘s team! actually edible, well done phil

 **Dadza:** Thank you Dream

 **child:** I HELPED

 **Dadza:** You ran away from both Techno and Wilbur the entire time

 **child:** I HELPED TUBBO

 **Dadza:** Tubbo wasn’t on our team, Toms

 **child:** Sadge

 **dre:** first place by a very large margin

 **dre:** @ **furry** @ **lgbbq** @ **bigT** @ **niki** congrats

 **furry:** LETS GO TUBBO

 **bigT:** WOOOOOOOOOOO

 **lgbbq:** GG!

 **niki:** well done guys i’m so proud of you <3

 **furry:** TAHNK YOU NIKI

 **bigT:** YES THANJ YIU JIKI!!!!!

 **lgbbq:** niki you did lots of the work, thank you!

 **niki:** eret shh we all did good!

 **child:** question

 **niki:** shoot!

 **child:** excuse my random curiosity, but isn’t there like Two more members of your family

 **bigT:** yes!! THERE IS THHEYRE COMEINH HOME FORE CHRISTMAS :D

 **lgbbq:** dad n broski r is coming home :D

 **child:** can i meet him

 **lgbbq:** you already have

 **child:** oh Yes

 **child:** Him.

 **bigT:** hes great

 **furry:** damn right he is we opened an ice cream shop when we were younger

 **lgbbq:** wasn’t that when it was winter and you just served people dirty snow in a cup

 **furry:** yes

 **lgbbq:** awesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> petition to put dsmp on hard mode we just want the guardian farm to work :pensive:  
> also we got tubbo and eret content on stream tonight i'm so very happy
> 
> ily guys <3


	18. [bigT: i’ll change it as a cry for help]

_ 8:26AM  _

**lgbbq:** @ **bigT**

**bigT:** goodmorning 

**lgbbq:** get to the car 

**bigT:** why? 

**lgbbq:** you have school and TWO EXAMS TODAY 

**bigT:** OH SHIT 

**manlyman:** on a sunday???? 

**lgbbq:** it’s sunday? 

**manlyman:** [ _screenshot sent_ ] 

**manlyman:** unless my time is wrong, it’s sunday eret D: 

**bigT:**

**bigT:** ERET IM GOING TO KILL YOU 

[ _**bigT** changed **lgbbq** ’s name to **BITCH**_ ] 

**BITCH:** oh 

[ _**BITCH** changed their name to **lgbbq**_ ] 

**lgbbq:** i’m sorry tubbo you can go back to sleep and i’ll make pancakes 

**bigT:** pancakes? 

**lgbbq:** yes 

**bigT:** you are forgiven please remember to put on syrup 

**lgbbq:** of course 

_12:27PM_

**rosetwitch:** this chat is dead over the weekends 

**zelkham:** people have lives 

**rosetwitch:** imagine 

**zelkham:** imagine 

_6:21PM_

**bigT:** am i allowed to change my name? 

**child:** NO 

**blood god:** i don’t see why not 

**bigT:** i’ll change it as a cry for help 

[ _**bigT** changed their name to **SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS GUARDIAN FARM PLEASE GOD**_ ] 

**SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS GUARDIAN FARM PLEASE GOD:** is it too long? 

**child:** WHAT THE FUCK 

**blood god:** i think he needs help with a guardian farm 

**dre:** i know a guy 

**SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS GUARDIAN FARM PLEASE GOD:** gimme 

[ _**dre** changed **SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS GUARDIAN FARM PLEASE GOD** ’s name to **tubbo**_ ] 

**dre:** i’ll send you his number in dm 

**tubbo:** awesome thank you dream 

**tubbo:** as much as you are a green bastard you have your nice moments 

**dre:** what is that supposed to mean 

**tubbo:** :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> throughout that entire cooking stream i thought i had severely overestimated tubbo's cooking ability but apparently i got it kind of correct? he does stuff so randomly and wrong but it turns out okay at the end????? tf
> 
> anywhooooooo ily guys, stay safe <3


	19. [child: WHAT]

_8:20AM_

**child:** TUUBUBIBOD

 **tubbo:** who

 **tubbo:** oh that’s me? i think

 **tubbo:** hiya

 **child:** TUBUBUUOOOOOO MY MICSROPEC IS BROEKN HOW DOESD FIX???

 **tubbo:** have you tried turning it off and on again

 **tubbo:** also we have school today??? and you have your biology exam?????

 **child:** WHAT

 **child:** LMAO @ **Dadza** ARE YOU STILL HOME

 **Dadza:** Yeah

 **Dadza:** Car, now

 **child:** THANK YOU PHILZA MINECRAFT

 **child:** I WILL TELL ALL THE LADIES ABOUT YOU

 **Dadza:** I might just leave now....

 **child:** BONNOOBOBONOBONONOONONONONOONONONOON IM SORRY DAD

 **child:** DAD STOP SLOWLY PULLING OUT THE DRIVE IM GOING TO CRY

 **blood god:** DAD DAD DAD

 **Dadza:** Yes Techno?

 **blood god:** can you come and pick me up from college :D

 **Dadza:** I have to take your brother to school he has an exam

 **blood god:** please

 **Dadza:** Toms?

 **child:** DAD LISTEN

 **child:** i will Cry if you leave me

 **Dadza:** ah

 **Dadza:** I’ll be there in 15 minutes Techno

 **blood god:** :(

 **Dadza:** I’ll bring Floof?

 **blood god:** you are forgiven partially

 **snapmap:** why do i feel like you asked phil just to make tommy late

 **blood god:** because that is exactly what i did

 **child:** what the Fuck

 **blood god:** :)

_9:38AM_

**moneybags:** @ **child** Tommy

 **moneybags:** i thought you kids didn’t take your gcses until may?

 **purp:** not tommy but we’re doing our mocks currently it sucks ass

 **moneybags:** i see thank you Purpled

 **purp:** you are so welcome Mr Moneybags

 **purp:** are you like that dude from spyro

 **stars:** purp

 **purp:** what

 **stars:** we have biology in an hour come study w me sammy n gb80

 **purp:** we go to different schools to sammy

 **purp:** he has maths today

 **stars:** same thing come help

 **purp:** and 80 isn’t even in secondary school,?????? he’s in college with a job what

 **stars:** hes helping

 **purp:** WITH WHAT??

 **stars:** JUST COME TO THE LIBRARY YOU DUMBASS?????

 **purp:** FINE

_1:52PM_

**moneybags:** those two fight like a married couple jesus christ

 **purp:** stfu

 **stars:** stfu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 days!! until christmas!!  
> also next chapter is a fun chapter!!! since its tubbo's birthday, i've decided to write some fluff centred around his family (in my fic) and a new person is being properly introduced!
> 
> i love you guys so much, your comments give me the happy chemical and make my day <3


	20. [peepoLove: guys it’s my birthday]

**tubbo:** guys

[ _**tubbo** changed their name to **peepoLove** _] 

**peepoLove:** guys it’s my birthday 

**child:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUBBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BEST FRIENDDDD 

**gogy:** happy bday 

**snapmap:** happy birthday! 

**manlyman:** BIRTHDAY BOY!! 

**dre:** birthday happy 

**wimblur:** happy birthday tubbo 

**Dadza:** Hapyp Birthday Tubbo! 

**purp:** HAPPY BIRTDHAY 

**appLe:** happy birthday man 

**spiffy:** happy birthday 

**stars:** happy day of birth 

**rosetwitch:** happy birthday tubster 

**zelkham:** happy birthday 

**furry:** happy bday tubbers 

**jif:** HAPOU BRIXTAJY!!!!! 

**badboyangel:** Happy birthday! 

**lgbbq:** happy birthday tubbo :D 

**moneybags:** happy birthday Tubbo 

**blood god:** imagine being born couldn’t be me 

**mi perdonas:** CUMPLEAÑOS FELIZ MI AMIGO 

**niki:** happy birthday tubbo! when you get the chance come downstairs there’s a surprise! 

**peepoLove:** SURPRISE??? I LOVE SURPRISES!!!! 

**niki:** i know!! hurry!! 

**\- - - - -**

Tubbo ran down the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him. He loved surprises - probably more than the average person - and his older sister presenting him with one made him extremely hyped. 

As he reached the last step, a slightly unfamiliar voice carried through the halls of his house, along with Niki's voice and Eret's voice, and he froze in place, trying to identify it. 

That slight monotone, the awkward yet comfortable laughter. Those god awful, low-key self-deprecating jokes. 

He’d come home for his little brothers birthday. 

The bee-loving boy silently (or as silently as he could) crept over to the doorway where the talking was coming from and peeked around the corner, relieved to see that his suspicions were right. 

His older brother had gotten tall— extremely tall, and his hair was still the same golden blonde that he remembered. He wore a split hoodie, half was white, half was black, with green and red accents on the sleeves. He was just as Tubbo remembered him, the dramatic hand gestures and everything. 

But his secret watching was soon interrupted. He froze as Eret caught him out of the corner of their eye and waved him over, prompting Niki to turn around and then finally... 

Ranboo. 

The tall teenager stood wide-eyed at his brother, obviously unsure of how to act after about a year of not seeing him. After what felt like years, he hesitantly opened his arms and gestured at Tubbo for a hug, which the younger was quick to accept. 

The two brothers collided, Tubbo hugging Ranboo tightly, so tightly that the taller couldn’t breathe for a split second, but we don’t talk about that. 

“I forgot how much I missed you Boo..” Tubbo whispered into his brothers chest, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!” 

“I know, but I’m here now! I’m back from college for a few weeks!” 

“Only a few weeks?” 

“Yeah, but we’ll make it the best weeks ever Tubbo, don’t you worry.” 

Tubbo broke from the hug and smiled up at his brother, who awkwardly grinned back at him. 

Their moment was shortly interrupted though, due to a certain fox shooting Ranboo in the head with a spray-painted Nerf gun, cackling loudly and running upstairs yelling, “Try and catch me Ran-Ran! I got you! I still got you after all this time!” 

Tubbo was quick to sprint after him, and he was caught quickly. The screech made it kind of obvious. 

The day passed quickly, with Tubbo’s friends coming and going, dropping off small gifts and saying their happy birthdays. By the end of it, the Berry family was sat around the TV watching ‘Home Alone’ since it was so close to Christmas. And since it was so late, they started to doze off one by one. 

Fundy was the first to go, his legs sprawled across Eret and Niki’s laps as his head laid on a fluffy pillow. It was the first time he’d looked peacefully asleep in forever since he usually only slept when he was extremely sleep deprived (coding and all that, sucks the life out of you). 

Niki fell asleep next, her head laid on Eret’s shoulder with the family cat in her lap. (It was called Squeeks, and looked scarily like a fox.) 

Tubbo and Ranboo fell asleep almost at the same time, near the end of the movie. Their legs were tangled together, Tubbo with his head on his older brothers chest, and Ranboo’s arms wrapped loosely around his younger brothers torso. They looked so happy, soft smiles adorning their faces. 

Eret was the final one to fall asleep. They turned off the movie properly and moved the bowl of popcorn to the coffee table, before softly tapping on Fundy’s knee, the taps getting slower and weaker as they drifted off into soundless sleep. 

(But they didn’t allow this to happen without getting sleeping pictures of his siblings. Who would let up an opportunity like that?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUBBO!!!!  
> gosh i had so much fun writing this chapter, i hope everyone enjoyed it :D
> 
> stay tuned for an extra long, fluff filled chapter on christmas!! <3


	21. [child: ITS FUCKIN CHRISTMAS]

_6:27AM_

**child:** ITS FUCKIN CHRISTMAS

 **peeopLove:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**\- - - - -**

The yells from the two teenagers most definitely woke up the entire street at six in the morning, but nobody complained. Except Wilbur. Tommy got heavily told off, but he knew his brother wouldn’t go back to sleep due to the childish glint in his eye and fond smile adorning his face.

After knocking on Techno and Phil’s doors, the danger duo ran downstairs to the living room, their eyes widening in glee as they saw the four piles of wrapped presents dotted around the room. The smaller pile was wrapped in green and white paper, and they both knew what was in a most of them. The two medium sized piles were pink and white, and purple and teal (it was an awful contrast, Tommy was so glad he found it for Wilbur’s presents). Finally, the biggest pile was red and silver, with sparkling bows on some of the presents.

Wilbur immediately knelt down in front of what he assumed to be his present and fake gagged at the paper.

“Is there a problem Wil?” Tommy asked slyly, plopping down in front of the biggest pile, “Do you not like the paper? I picked it out just for you!”

Wilbur turned to face the gremlin and flipped him off, only to be rewarded with a disappointed cough from Phil, who was carrying in hot chocolate with Techno.

“I brought hot chocolate, made special for each of you!” Phil announced, carefully giving his boys their drinks.

“I helped out too,” Techno muttered, settling down in front of the pink presents and taking a sip of his drink.

They sat drinking in a comfortable silence as everyone finished, before counting down and digging into their presents.

**\- - - - -**

After everyone had opened their presents that morning, Fundy disappeared up to his bedroom to set up his new keyboard and monitor. Eret and Niki began work on Christmas dinner, claiming that it would take hours for everything to be completely ready to go.

This left Tubbo and Ranboo to their own devices. They played a little bit of the new games they'd both gotten, and changed into some new and comfortable clothes until the doorbell rang.

Tubbo was the first to the window, silently cursing their house for blocking the view of the front door. Ranboo went to grab Niki and Eret, who approached the door slowly and hesitantly. Apparently Fundy had heard it too, as he was stood at the top of the stairs looking extremely confused.

Niki opened the door to the porch and let out a small gasp. She quickly went inside and unlocked the door, whispering to whoever rang the bell, and then they walked into the house.

It was the Captain. It was their dad.

He'd come home for Christmas.

**\- - - - -**

“Sammy stop using so much salt!” Purpled screeched, launching himself at his friend across the table.

“Why not Purp? I don’t see the proble—“ the Australian was quickly cut off by him being hit in the chest and flung off his chair by the seventeen-year-old.

The rest of the table face-palmed as the duo rolled around on the floor, their paper crowns tearing slightly.

“Can you two just _eat_?!” Astelic asked, her words muffled behind her hands, “All I wanted this Christmas was a peaceful dinner— All I wanted!”

“And you couldn’t get the one thing you wanted Astelic!” Eighty said, yelping as he barely dodged the salt that was thrown his way, “To be honest, what were you expecting?”

Astelic buried her head into her arms as the duo on the floor started laughing loudly. Eighty smiled and went back to his meal, thanking whatever god was out there for his friends, and also praying the Christmas tree would stay standing this year.

**\- - - - -**

The shared apartment had never been this quiet before. It might have had to do with the fact that Quackity and Dream were both fast asleep on the floor.

The Dream Team plus Karl and Quackity had been relaxing on the afternoon of Christmas. Their morning had been extremely chaotic, with torn paper everywhere and screams from tiny papercuts. Christmas dinner had been equally as out of hand, if not worse. Lets just say the fire department had to be called because someone let Quackity mess with the pizzas.

After a catastrophic morning, they decided it would be good to chill and play some non-competitive games and watch a few movies in the background, which did the trick.

The three husbands fell asleep first— Quackity on the floor, Sapnap and Karl tangled together on the couch. Dream was quick to follow, collapsing on the floor next to Big Q.

That left George the only one awake, and consequently the one who had to do some last minute tidying, but he didn’t mind. As long as his friends were happy, he was (even if he didn’t show it).

**\- - - - -**

It was 11PM on Friday 25th December, and everyone in the Idots house was still wide awake.

Finn and Vurb had taken it upon themselves to have a drinking competition, and were completely wasted. It was an absolute pain picking up what they knocked over, but their drunken cover of Mariah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' was surprisingly good.

In their own corner of the couch, Bad and Skeppy were watching (or trying to watch) all of the Harry Potter movies. They'd started after their filling lunch of a McDonalds 20 chicken nugget share box and mutliple McFlurrys and they'd made pretty good progress. It was a pity they had to pause it every 5 minutes when the drunken duo danced across the screen.

Upstairs and out of the way of the other six, Harvey and Spifey were chilling, playing Mario Kart. They were talking about the most random things, going from having an in depth conversation about the future of the universe to whether a hotdog was a taco.

The final duo in the house was Zelk and Mega, and lets just say, that knife block was looking more and more appealing to the mute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOO  
> merry christmas!! i hope everyone had a boppin day!!! :D  
> i edited this listening to drunk fundy it is an experience.  
> theres also less of a reunion bit for the captain because i wrote one last chapter and thought it would just be repetetive, but there WILL be alot more of the captain!!
> 
> also, i need you all to answer: do you like the switch between texting and real life in the story, or would you prefer more of one of them?


	22. [wimblur: he did stab me]

_8:36AM_

**dre:** i forgot to ask yesterday what did people get for christmas

 **dre:** not everything, like their top present or a small list

 **dre:** i got a better mask and multiple green hoodies

 **peepoLove:** A GRILL

 **child:** A NEW CAMERA

 **wimblur:** a new guitar

 **furry:** a hangover

 **lgbbq:** new platform boots

 **niki:** cooking stuff!! with flowers :D

 **furry:** they are very pretty

 **niki:** thank you fundy!

 **Dadza:** So many mugs and a bucket hat

 **blood god:** minecraft diamond sword

 **wimblur:** he tried to stab me

 **blood god:** i did stab you

 **wimblur:** he did stab me

 **wimblur:** you bitch im going to hit you with my guitar

 **blood god:** i’d like to see you try

 **appLe:** hi! i got mario kart

 **jif:** a duduneh + subdirotoroon

 **badboyangel:** A disney+ subscription and a nowtv subscription

 **rosetwitch:** a nail appointment and new dress

 **gogy:** a rubix cube

 **spiffy:** time spent with my best friend

 **appLe:** geo :(

 **spiffy:** <3

 **zelkham:** i got a new monitor

 **cutemute:** self control

 **zelkham:** that’s a lie

 **cutemute:** i said what i said moron

[ _**cutemute** changed their name to **mega**_ ]

 **mega:** bye

 **purp:** i got cool new shoes

 **stars:** i got some pretty clothes :D

_10:27AM_

**peepoLove:** can i add someone pls

 **dre:** go for it

 **snapmap:** WAIT I DIDNT GET TO SAY MINE

 **dre:** you’ve literally had 2 hours

 **dre:** go ahead.

 **snapmap:** I GOT A BLOWTORCH AND A FIRE EXTINGUISHER

[ _**peepoLove** added **endermanman** to **OnlyPain** _]

 **peepoLove:** @ **niki** should i add dad too

 **niki:** go for it

[ _**peepoLove** added **Captain** to **OnlyPain**_ ]

 **endermanman:** Hi guys

 **Captain:** Hello everybody!

 **child:** IS THAT RAN BOO

 **endermanman:** ah

 **endermanman:** hello tommy

 **child:** it IS YOU HELLO RAN BOO

 **endermanman:** please spell my name correctly

 **peepoLove:** BOO!

 **endermanman:** TUBBO!

 **peepoLove:** vc5

 **endermanman:** i’ll be there in a moment

 **Captain:** I’m so proud of them both

 **Dadza:** They’ve come a long way

 **Dadza:** We haven’t talked in ages, can I come over ?

 **Captain:** Sure

 **blood god:** ew old person meeting

 **Dadza:** stfu techno

 **blood god:** okay as long as i get to torture wil

 **Dadza:** don’t do that

 **blood god:** i’ll take him to the Alleyway

 **snapmap:** on a holiday? you monster

 **blood god:** sapnap

 **blood god:** i will happily replace wilbur with you

 **snapmap:** I WAS NEVER HERE

 **blood god:** suddenly i am blind

 **wimblur:** as you should be, bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE LATE CHAPTER I MAY HAVE GOTTEN DISTRACTED BY TECHNOBLADES STREAM UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> i am editing this chapter while watching it actually its very funny  
> also ao3 is laggy for me today i almost lost the entire fully edited and ready to go chapter


	23. [wimblur: TWO FUCKING MINUTES]

_7:37PM_

**wimblur:** techno blade is a BITCH

 **Dadza:** You’ve said that a lot, do you want something?

 **wimblur:** i want technobitch to know he is a bitch

 **moneybags:** he was rubbing it in that he was older than Wil

 **wimblur:** by

 **wimblur:** TWO FUCKING MINUTES

 **wimblur:** I JUST WANTED A SNACK AND HE WAS ALL LIKE

 **wimblur:** NONO

 **wimblur:** AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NONO YOU DUMB BITCH

 **wimblur:** AND THEN HE WAS LIKE BIG BROTHER SAYS NO SNACK AND THEN HE STABBEDME

 **child:** as he should

 **wimblur:** FUCK YOU TOMMY

 **child:** I WILL TELL PEOPLE MORE ABOUT THE BUSH INCIDENT WILBUR SOOT

 **wimblur:** NO

 **child:** THATS WHAT I THOUGHT BITCH

 **blood god:** sorry you’re so annoyed by me stating facts wilbur

 **wimblur:** I JUST WANTED A BOWL OF COCO POPS

 **blood god:** you said ‘snack’

 **blood god:** that could’ve been anything

 **blood god:** plus i wanted to annoy you

 **wimblur:** i hate you more than words can express

 **blood god:** understandable

[ _**wimblur** changed **blood god** ’s name to **motherfucker**_ ]

 **motherfucker:** now that’s just uncalled for wilbur

 **motherfucker:** my audience retention wilbur

[ _**motherfucker** changed their name to **blade**_ ]

 **blade:** i hear you laughing wilbur

_9:52PM_

**purp:** what was the bush incident

 **peepoLove:** weren’t you in the chat when it was explained

 **purp:** maybe? you guys talk so much i might’ve missed it

 **peepoLove:** fair

 **child:** PURPLED!

 **child:** BASICALLY WILBUR GOT STUCK IN A BUSH AND THE COPS HAD TO COME AND GET HIM IT WAS SO FUNNY

 **peepoLove:** don’t you have part of it on camera?

 **wimblur:** excuse me

 **child:** HAHA YES

 **child:** [ _video sent_ ]

 **wimblur:** TOMMY

 **child:** LOL

 **child:** go away wilbur my door is locked

 **wimblur:** not for long

 **child:** LOL okay

 **wimblur:** if you don’t unlock your door i’ll use the blackmail i have against you

 **child:** what blackmail

 **wimblur:** the one i have multiple pictures, videos and google docs on

 **child:** NO NO NO IM SORRY WILBUR I DIDNG MEAN IT REALLY INSWEAR

 **wimblur:** too late

 **wimblur:** [ _document sent_ ]

**\- - - - -**

[ _googledocs - **tommy-blackmail-pt1**_ ]

Hello Friends! If you’re reading this, Tommy probably pissed me off or you’re on my laptop. If it’s the latter, get off, I will know and I will make sure you know not to touch my shit again.

Anyway, this is part one of four of my blackmail documents! This contains pictures only, so feel free to decode what it is! I’m sure I’ll send the others soon :)

[ _6 images attached_ ]

Have a nice day/night!

\- Wilbur Pandel

**\- - - - -**

**child:** NO NO NONOONO ONOONONONONONOONONONOONONONONOONONOONONONONONoononoono on wilbur wilbur wilbur please delete that message please please please please please please please oh my god noononononoNONOO ONO OO ONONONOONONONONOONONONONOONO

[ _**child** was temporarily banned from **OnlyPain** by **dre** for ‘ **spam stfu you gremlin’**_ ]

 **wimblur:** L

 **blade:** L

 **lgbbq:** L

 **moneybags:** L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rewatching mcc 12 tubbo vod i love this sm
> 
> anYway second last chapter of 2020!
> 
> ALSO i've begun to write a story focused on the dream smp, would anyone want me to post it here?


	24. [rosetwitch: isn’t it new years eve today]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK BABY

_9:56AM_

**child:** WHY WAS I BANNED FOR 12 HOURS

 **endermanman:** i guess that’s the default time

 **child:** okay ran boo

 **endermanman:** pleas e

 **endermanman:** spell my name right

 **child:** okay ran boo

 **peepoLove:** he just heavily sighed

 **endermanman:** thank you tubbo

 **peepoLove:** you are so welcome mr boo

_10:36AM_

**rosetwitch:** isn’t it new years eve today

 **snapmap:** it’s what

 **rosetwitch:** the 31st?? it’s new years eve???

 **snapmap:** ITS WHAT

 **snapmap:** @ **everyone** YALL R SO STUPID WE NEED A PARTY BRO

 **dre:** i’ll rent a warehouse

 **blade:** why

 **dre:** there are so many of us

 **blade:** fair

 **dre:** @ **everyone** today at 7PM go to [ _address_ ] there is good food and dancing and comfortable beanbags

 **wilbur:** is there wine

 **dre:** yes

 **wilbur:** count me in

 **furry:** as i

 **furry:** can we invite jack manifold

 **dre:** if he’s free sure

 **dre:** invite whoever there’ll be space

 **dre:** i’ll make sure of it

 **appLe:** that sounds like a threat

 **dre:** that’s because it is

**\- - - - -**

When Tubbo and Ranboo entered the warehouse, they were immediately regretful of not bringing earplugs.

There was a ‘Vamo da cycle’ Tik Tok complication playing on one of the TV screens at full volume. Wilbur, Techno, Finn, Zelk and Jack Manifold were sat around it, the majority of them looking like they’d wished they’d never come to the party. Wilbur was doing his best to copy the dancing, while also trying to get his older brother to join in. Techno continuously refused, yet a playful smile stayed on his face.

Dream and Bad were sat at a small bar in the corner laughing about something, with Skeppy already passed out on the floor next to them. Quackity was behind the bar, skillfully pouring out drinks for the duo, with Karl’s arms around his waist. The four of them were chatting, sometimes gesturing at the rest of the warehouse and then laughing.

On a raised platform, Tommy was stood chatting with Phil and Purpled. That was until he spotted his best friend and immediately leapt over the safety railing.

“Tommy—!” Tubbo yelled out, watching as the blonde landed on the floor with a thud. He didn’t anticipate the blonde to stand up immediately and run at him full speed.

“Tubbo!” Tommy exclaimed, dragging out the ‘o’ for much longer than needed. He collided into Tubbo with his arms open and the duo fell to the floor laughing. Ranboo stood next to them awkwardly, before Niki came up to him and gently took his wrist, guiding him to the more quiet part of the warehouse with Eret, Fundy, Harvey and both George’s.

“Tommy! What the fuck did I _just_ say about jumping over the safety railing?” Phil yelled down, disappointment evident in his tone.

Tommy stiffened, “Sorry Phil, I was just excited to see Tubbo and—“

“It’s fine Toms, just be careful.”

Tommy stayed laid down for a few minutes, still hugging Tubbo, but it was a loose enough hold that the latter could leave whenever he wanted to. He chose not to.

“He’s not mad at you Tommy...” Tubbo whispered, “Don’t let that ruin your night.”

“He was disappointed though...”

“I’m sure if the Captain saw me jump over a safety railing he would be disappointed too— Oh speak of the devil look who’s here!”

Tubbo shot up, grabbing Tommy’s hand and leading him over to the man with the red jacket.

“Dad!”

“Hey Duckling, what’s happening?”

“Party!”

After introducing Tommy to the Captain again, the trio wandered into the midst of the party.

**\- - - - -**

_11:57PM_

**moneybags:** ITS ALMOST TIME

 **purp:** everyone is asleep

 **blade:** not everyone however i cannot move

 **blade:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **blade:** this bitch fell asleep on me

 **appLe:** you’re such a big brother techno

 **blade:** never say that to me every again

 **gogy:** you do love them techno

 **blade:** shut up or you’re next

 **gogy:** alright alright mr overprotective of his feelings

 **endermanman:** the only person in my family who is awake is fundy and his voice is almost gone

 **endermanman:** hes going on about copyright laws please help me

 **blade:** sucks to be you

**\- - - - -**

The remaining people all decided it would be a fabulous and _extremely clever_ idea to yell at the top of their lungs when the clock struck midnight.

So that’s exactly what they did.

They did however wake up half of the people who were asleep, who then yelled at the seven (six if you don’t count Fundy, the man simply jumped off the couch he and Ranboo were lying down on and fell on top of Eret) for waking them up, who then woke up everyone else. It was a long night after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i missed a day!! i was playing monopoly w my family since it was new years eve lmfao
> 
> ANYWHO HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! i have some big plans for this fic + other fics this year that i am very excited to share with you all!!!


	25. [wimblur: he had coke]

_ 11:28AM  _

**peepoLove:** goodmorning everyone 

**child:** GOODMORNUBG THBBO 

**child:** HIW DID TOU SLEEPvvvvv?(,,,???vv?? 

**peepoLove:** what the hell 

**wimblur:** he had coke 

**peepoLove:** this early? 

**wimblur:** yes 

**peepoLove:** why 

**wimblur:** ‘i need energy wilbur i have so many women to impress today’ 

**endermanman:** seems accurate 

**wimblur:** ty mr boo 

**snapmap:** it’s almost lunchtime does he not have coke before lunch or something 

**wimblur:** he limits himself to one coke before he streams and that’s it because it makes him energised 

**wimblur:** hes not streaming for a few days 

**snapmap:** you should hide the coke to spite him 

**mi perdonas:** TRUEEEEE 

**snapmap:** wait can we actually 

**wimblur:** sure the door is unlocked :) 

**mi perdonas:** on our way 

**child:** DONT TOCUJ MY FUCKKUBBGGGGG 

**peepoLove:** tommy where r you 

**child:** gates 

**peepoLove:** stay there i’m bringing ranboo with me 

**endermanman:** why 

**peepoLove:** you r here as moral support 

**endermanman:** fair enough 

_6:25PM_

**child:** BITCHES 

**child:** @ **everyone**

**child:** WHERE I N THE FUCK IS MY COKE 

**Dadza:** You’ve already had one today 

**child:** father my energy is Dropped below levels of safety i require more 

**mi perdonas:** we hid them 

**snapmap:** ^^^ 

**child:** YOU DID WHAT 

**child:** WHY THE FUCK 

**mi perdonas:** we buried them in your backyard 

**Dadza:** What 

**mi perdonas:** THAT WAS A JOKE WE HID THEM IN YOUR HOUSE HAVE FUN 

[ _**peepoLove** changed **child** ’s name to **cokedemon**_ ] 

**cokedemon:** TRUE 

**cokedemon:** I AM GOING TI KILL YOU 

**wimblur:** in a video game 

**cokedemon:** IN A VIDEO GAME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sPEEDY UPDATE IM WATCHING WILBUR AND THEN SWITCHING TO TECHNO WHEN HE ENDS :D  
> this is a lower energy chapter, but i hope it still has a good impact! and i am also workign on some fancy things. . .. . . so stay tuned for that!
> 
> love yall <3


	26. [endermanman: i hear screaming]

_ 3:38AM  _

**endermanman:** i hear screaming 

**blade:** don’t we all 

**endermanman:** are you okay techno? 

**endermanman:** do you need to talk? 

**blade:** no i’m not okay 

**blade:** this child has been screaming about his coke for the past nine hours 

**endermanman:** oh that sucks 

**blade:** i’m this close to kicking him out 

**endermanman:** anything to make him shut up 

**endermanman:** would be nice 

**blade:** on it 

**endermanman:** o7 

_10:26AM_

**Dadza:** Why is Tommy tied up under the table? 

**blade:** he wouldn’t shut up so i made him 

**endermanman:** he was being loud mr phil 

**endermanman:** you have to understand we were doing this for the good of the street 

**Dadza:** That doesn’t excuse the fact that Tommy is tied up under the table?? 

**blade:** phil 

**blade:** don’t you ever wanna make him be quiet 

**Dadza:** good point 

**endermanman:** one of us 

**blade:** one of us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres gonna be a lot more lower energy, chill oneshot chapters until something interesting pops into my head or a birthday happens. . . .. .. .. ..
> 
> anywho, personally i believe in ranboo main character arc. but holy hell i was speechless throughout that entire stream (up until about now its a lot more chill lmfao)
> 
> love you guys <3


	27. [author's note]

hello! it's me! author!

i do apologise for no chapter today, but i thought i would let you all know that i'm taking a break from writing this fic. i've finally ran out of ideas D:

however, this doesn't mean that i have lost interest in the dreamsmp and mcyt. in fact its quite the opposite! i am way too invested in this bloody lore oh my god.

i'm currently writing a dream smp canon divergence story based around the second festival! it is going to have our favourite boy ranboo as our main focus, with fundy second focus in a way? i wont spoil it anymore than that, but i'm pretty sure the first chapter will either be out tomorrow or in at least the next few days! (most likely in a few days-)

if anyone does have ideas and such for this fic, please drop them in the comments as a request and i'll do my best to write them <3

thank you so much for all of the support on this, i reread all of the comments earlier and y'all are too sweet! remember, stay safe, stay yourself and keep doing what you're doing!

i love you guys so much <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> think of the comments on this chapter as a requests page!


	28. [cokedemon: willlburh my ehasd]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! just a quick note to say that a few of the people in this fic will NOT be as main as they have been! it's becoming really difficult to keep track of everyone, so here is a list of people who will most likely have one or two lines every few chapters, or just be mentioned!!  
> \- finn, mega, zelk, vurb, tapl, spifey, purpled, astelic + sammy and gb80 (even though they were only in the christmas special)  
> i'm very sorry if you only read this for those characters D:
> 
> also credit to SailerCosmos1234 for this chapter idea, its not exactly what was suggested but y'know-

_3:37AM_

**cokedemon:** adeell luej shit 

**wimblur:** go back to bed 

**cokedemon:** willlburh my ehasd 

**wimblur:** what??? 

**peepoLove:** r you okay tommy? 

**cokedemon:** [ _voice recording sent_ ] 

**wimblur:** fuck 

**wimblur:** i’ll get dad okay stay there 

**wimblur:** @ **blade** wake up wake up wake up 

**\- - - - -**

When Wilbur went to go and grab Phil, he hesitated and almsot decided against it- Phil didn't really like being woken up in the middle of the night, but the pain in his younger brothers voice made him fight through the doubt and into his fathers room. And Phil wasn't there. What? 

"Wilbur! Get to Tommy's room! And bring a bowl of- shit- uh, water! Cold!" yelled someone, Phil, from down the hallway. Jeez, that man was talented in getting around the house in silence. Much unlike his brothers. 

Wilbur grabbed a few bowls and towels and rushed upstairs, carelessly throwing one of the plastic bowls into Tommy's bedroom as he made his way to the bathroom. He may or may not have hit Techno in the ankle with it. After filling up the bowl with water, he walked into Tommy's room to see Phil sat on the edge of his bed and Techno pacing around the rug in the centre of the room. 

Tommy was propped up in bed, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. He was shaking slightly, and his breathing was shallow. A fever. 

Shit. 

**\- - - - -**

_4:27AM_

**wimblur:** for everyone worrying, toms is doing better 

**wimblur:** also when the fuck did tubbo get here what 

**peepoLove:** speed 

**endermanman:** he left our late night movie watching 

**peepoLove:** sorry boo :( 

**endermanman:** its okay tubs 

**endermanman:** you're being a good friend! 

**peepoLove:** damn right tell fundy i hate him 

**furry:** WHY 

**peepoLove:** you hid my shoes earlier so i had to run across the street in the snow barefoot you ass 

**furry:** THAT IS ENTIRELY A YOU PROBLEM 

**peepoLove:** I HATE YOU 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS I HAVE LIKE 5 PREWRITTEN CHAPTERS FOR THIS WE'RE BACK TO REGULAR UPDATES LETS GOOOOOOOO


	29. [dre: why does wilbur look like hes seen death]

_8:45AM_

**dre:** why does wilbur look like hes seen death

 **endermanman:** remember when jack manifold told us that he almost died but he looked death in the eyes and said no

 **dre:** why do you remember that that was like over a decade ago

 **wimblur:** i was awake at fuiicki9gn 3am last nithgt you incondisterate bicth

 **dre:** nono i get that you just look sick

 **wimblur:** uw hagt

 **Dadza:** you're kidding

 **dre:** no he looks like shit mr minecraft idk what to tell you

 **blade:** hey fatehr figure

 **blade:** yknow i think what toms has is contagiosuis

 **Dadza:** go to the curb you two

 **wimblur:** but its cold

 **wimblur:** and sdanOWING

 **badboyangel:** It is snowing phil

 **Dadza:** ill be there in 5

 **snapmap:** it takes 15 minutes to drive from your house????

 **Dadza:** I'll be there in 5

 **snapmap:** lmfao ok phil

_8:51AM_

**snapmap:** HES ACTUALLY HERE WHAT THE HELL

 **blade:** speed limits r nothgins to dad when we're heurut

 **snapmap:** hes not human i swear

 **wimblur:** coutn youir days spanspapmp

 **snapmap:** WHAT DID I DO????

_6:37PM_

[ _**manlyman** changed their name to **mrtimeman**_ ]

 **mrtimeman:** okay fun fact

 **mrtimeman:** i didn't go to college right

 **mrtimeman:** but dream n sap did and youll never guess what

 **mi perdonas:** THEYA RE DYUING HELP

 **mi perdonas:** @ **Dadza** PHILZA MINECRAFT MY HUSBAND IS DYING HELP

 **Dadza:** fuck

 **endermanman:** we've also go a bit of a

 **endermanman:** situation to say the least

 **furry:** HELP US PLEASE THEYRE ALL DYING

 **endermanman:** [ _image sent_ ]

 **endermanman:** dad is stuck at the mcdonalds because of how deep the snow is

 **Captain:** I probably won't be home until at least 8, possibly later

 **Captain:** Sorry Phil

 **furry:** OUR MCDONALDS IS GONNA BE COLD CAP WHYYYYYY

 **Captain:** I’m sorry Fundy :(

 **Dadza:** i'll be over in a second ranboo and fundy

 **Dadza:** get water bowls of cold water also towels and paracetamol

 **endermanman:** yessir

 **mi perdonas:** HWAT ABOUT MY HUSNAMDNBD?????????

 **Dadza:** do the same

 **wimblur:** do Not yell at my father

 **wimblur:** im watching you

_11:47PM_

**Dadza:** is everyone okay now

 **Dadza:** can i please sleep

 **endermanman:** mhm

 **Captain:** Thanks Phil for taking care of those three

 **Dadza:** anytime

 **Dadza:** feel free to come over for tea in the next few days mate

 **Dadza:** now everyone stfu and sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> i watched the stream and i cried i did i cried the third time i cried at a lore stream eye-  
> SOBS


	30. [dre: WHO WANTS TO PLAY TRUTH OR DARE]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you JadeJem16 for the idea for the next few chapters <3

_7:17AM_

**dre:** AYO

 **dre:** WHO WANTS TO PLAY TRUTH OR DARE

 **endermanman:** aren't you sick?

 **dre:** I'M BETTER! it was just a little bug it goes away after like 2 days for most people

 **cokedemon:** ABSOLUTELY TRUE I AM SO HIGH ON COKE RIGHT NOW

 **cokedemon:** I HAVE INHALED SO MANY DRUGS OVER THE PAST TWO DAYS

 **peepoLove:** im still feeling a bit out of it but ill come along

 **peepoLove:** where are we going

 **dre:** @ **everyone** MEET AT THE LOCAL LIBRARY IN FOUR HOURS

 **peepoLove:** when is that

 **endermanman:** 11am tubbo

 **peepoLove:** thank you boo

 **endermanman:** you're welcome

 **peepoLove:** just for that you’re coming a long

 **endermanman:** great

_10:37AM_

**mi perdonas:** [ _video sent_ ]

 **mi perdonas:** VROOOOOOOOOOOOOM

 **gogy:** IS DREAM DUCKTAPED ON THE ROOF AGAIN

 **mi perdonas:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **gogy:** im so glad i walked

 **cokedemon:** I HOPE HE FALLS OFF

_11:02AM_

**dre:** RANBOO

 **endermanman:** one sec

 **gogy:** i can't believe this

 **gogy:** you dragged me out of bed early and theyre late

 **gogy:** so bm :/

 **endermanman:** sorry fundy fell over a fence

 **endermanman:** also who else is there

 **dre:** well theres our apartment

 **wimblur:** i

 **blade:** im also here, so is tommy. he had lots of coke so hes not allowed his phone

 **endermanman:** and im bringing tubbo n fundy becuase niki and eret have a project

 **endermanman:** awesome

 **gogy:** youre late ranboo :/

 **endermanman:** im sorry :(

 **blade:** count your days george

 **gogy:** WHAT

 **blade:** you heard me

 **gogy:** I DIDNT DO ANYTHING??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> i missed a day because i was playing minecraft. thats why i missed a day
> 
> anyway long chapters next i reckon y'all will like it! love you guys so much <3


	31. [“Who wants to ask first?”]

As the three remaining people arrived at the library, the receptionist behind the desk watched them as they wandered upstairs towards the booths. There was already screaming, and she was already tired. 

Moving on, the trio reached the rest of the group and either took a seat at the table, _on_ the table or on the floor. Tubbo forced himself next to Tommy, who was practically vibrating with chaotic energy. Ranboo stood awkwardly next to Techno, who eventually coaxed him to sit next to him. Fundy threw himself on the floor over Wilbur’s legs, sealing the taller males fate for the next few hours. 

Then the game began. 

“So who wants to go first?” Dream asked, glancing around the group, “Who wants to ask first?” 

Quackity raised his hand and grinned slyly, “I will!” 

He glanced around the group, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He was muttering under his breath, singing a song to choose his victim, his finger pointing at people in the group randomly before it landed on Ranboo. The tall boy froze up and smiled awkwardly as everyone turned to look at him. 

“Ranboo! Truth or dare?” 

“Tru-“ Ranboo started, before stopping and pondering on what he was choosing, “Actually no, let’s go with a dare.” 

“Alright buddy, you asked for this...” Quackity said in a hushed voice, rubbing his hands together like an evil supervillain, “I dare you, Ranboo Berry, to hug Technoblade!” 

Soft gasps echoed around the group as the ‘Blood God’ and Ranboo turned to each other. Ranboo slowly opened his arms, shaking slightly. Techno was absolutely terrifying to him. But what confused everyone was Techno pulling the Enderman-lover into a hug first and shooting a glare at Quackity, who quickly hid behind Karl. Ranboo melted into the hug: he obviously wasn’t used to someone a similar height hugging him. 

“Why don’t you hug me like that?!” Wilbur exclaimed, fake sadness apparent in his tone. 

“You’re not worthy.” 

“You’ve barely known Ranboo for a week!” 

“Time doesn’t dictate worth, Wilbur.” 

“You are such a bitch, I hate you.” 

“Okay little brother.” 

“Why you-“ 

“Boys!” Dream cuts in, “Ranboo, ask.” 

Ranboo shifted in his seat slightly, getting comfortable with Techno’s arm suddenly finding a home draped over his shoulders, and looked directly at Fundy, a small smile on his face. 

“Fundy! Truth or dare?” 

“Dare, I can take anything.” 

“Okay then-“ Ranboo muttered, glancing around the library before his eyes landed on a certain someone who Fundy hated (lighthearted, of course). 

“H! H! H!” Ranboo yelled, catching the attention of a certain tartan-wearing boy from across the library, “Come over here for a second!” 

Fundy’s eyes went wide and his skin went paler than it already was, “Ranboo- Boo- Ran-Ran please, I’m sorry for whatever I did to you just don’t-“ 

“Hey guys!” H said, a grin across his face, “Hey Fundy! What do you need Ranboo? Also I haven’t seen you in forever, we need to catch up!” 

“We do- Yeah, anyway Fundy! I dare you to ask H out on a date! And go through with it.” 

“Oh? You guys are playing T or D?” 

“Ranboo I hate you.” 

“Are you backing out?” 

“No- I just- ugh. HBomb... my _friend_ , will you go on a _strictly platonic_ date with me this Saturday?” 

H looked at Fundy for a second, then at Ranboo, who grinned, and then back at Fundy, “Oh, I thought you’d never ask, Master!” 

“Don’t-“ 

“I’ll pick out my best dress for you! I can’t wait!” 

H winked at Fundy, and said goodbye to everyone, who were currently laughing extremely hard. Fundy was beet red and glaring at Ranboo. If looks could kill, he would be dead three times over. 

“Fundy, your-“ Dream started when everyone had calmed down, only to be cut off by the fox-lover. 

“Ranboo!” 

“No- You cant choose someone who has already been chosen!” 

“That is such bullshit, fine. George, truth or dare?” 

A silence fell over the group, who all looked expectantly at George, who was leaning on Dream’s shoulder with his eyes closed. Dream sighed and poked his nose until he woke up, “Huh?” 

“Were you sleeping?!” 

“Yeah... What do you want?” 

“You-“ Fundy sighed, “Truth or dare?” 

“Truth.” 

“You’re so _boring_ , George!” yelled Sapnap, who got immediately hushed by Quackity. 

“You are boring, but whatever. What is the longest time you’ve slept for?” 

George hesitated and thought for a moment, before looking at his hands and counting on them, “I’d say 35 hours? Maybe longer.” 

" _How?!_ I barely get 6 hours on a good day!" 

"I'm just better than you Fundy, now let me sleep." 

Dream nudged him and whispered something in his ear before he fell asleep again, and his response was a pained groan. 

"Sapnap, truth or dare?" 

"Dare!" 

George wearily looked at him and muttered something to Dream before falling asleep on his shoulder. 

"He said he dares you to kiss the person to your left- So that would be Karl..." 

Sapnap smiled and leaned over to Karl, giving him a small peck on the cheek, causing the shorter male to giggle. Quackity, on the other hand, was looking at the other two with a betrayed look on his face. He immediately latched onto Karl and began sobbing and complaining about the betrayal of his loved ones. He only shut up when Karl hugged him. 

"Are you done?" Wilbur asked, glaring at Quackity, "You're so dramatic, Big Q." 

"Sorry I have people who love me Wilbur Soot!" 

"Why am I being attacked?!" 

"Boys!" Dream said, raising his voice over the arguing, "Sap-" 

"Wilbur! Truth or dare?" Sapnap asked, smiling innocently. 

"I reckon I'll choose truth, I'm telling you that smile isn't as innocent as he wants it to seem..." 

"Awh- You're boring Wilbur... I don't have any good truths..." 

"Just ask a random question, like, who do you hate the most?" Tubbo suggested. 

"Alright- Wilbur who-" 

"You." 

"What- I didn't even finish asking..." 

"Well I knew the question, and the answer is you." 

"Why?" 

"You annoy me." 

"That really-" 

"Dream, truth or dare?" 

"Don't ignore me you bitch!" 

Dream laughed softly, "Dare." 

Wilbur reached out for a bag that he'd thrown behind him earlier and put his hand in, rummaging around for a few seconds before pulling out a speaker attached to an old phone. He threw it at Techno, who fliiped him off before handing it to Dream. 

"There is one song saved on that phone, and I want you to go grab us snacks, since we forgot to buy some, while playing it, full volume." 

"Oh god- it's going to be something really inappropriate isn't it? Is it WAP?" Dream asks, unlocking the phone and clicking on the iTunes app. 

"Worship and Prayer!" Tubbo and Tommy yelled. 

"I don't think that-" started Ranboo, obviously out of the loop of what had happened over the past few months. 

Before the conversation could get any worse, Wilbur interrupted and calmly told Dream that he would know exactly which song it was when he hit play, but that he should only play it when he's outside (they didn't want to get kicked out of the library). And so, the green-hoodie-wearing boy walked down the stairs, almost tripped over on the last step and went outside. Due to the large windows, the group cound just see him messing with the speaker if they leaned over the railing. Then, he hit play. 

Dream went rigid as the music blasted out of the speaker and turned back to the library, looking at Wilbur dead in the eyes, who simply smirked in response. And then he was gone. 

"Seriously? The speedrun music?" Fundy said, leaning heavily on Ranboo, "I'm so sick of it Wil." 

"Fundy!" Wilbur exclaimed, excitedly putting two hands on his shoulders, "You and I both know how much faster that bastard does things when that's playing!" 

"But is it worth ruining his and everyone elses hearing for it?" 

"Absolutely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> NUKES NUKES NUKES NUKES NUKES NUKES
> 
> that is all  
> love you guys so so much <3


	32. [“So we’re starting again?”]

When Dream eventually returned, he had two bags of snacks, including chocolate bars, about twenty multipacks of crisps, a few bags of Haribo and two blankets draped around his shoulders. The music was still playing very loudly when he came back to the library, so the receptionist had to calmly ask him to turn it off, or at least turn it down.

Dream made his way back up and threw the bags to the floor, one blanket at Fundy and one blanket over George. The snacks got passed around, everyone having their own pile to dig through during the game.

“So we’re starting again?” Tubbo asked, picking at his bag of crisps.

“Yup! Now let me choose~” Dream teased, glancing around at the group, “Technoblade! Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Why you-“

“You know I don’t trust you at all, right?”

“Mhm- okay then, who do you trust? Who would you give up your life for?”

Techno answered without a moments hesitation, “Ranboo.”

The tall teenager whipped his head around at Techno, who was staring at Dream with an unreadable expression. As he glanced around the rest of the group, everyone's faces were awestruck, except Wilbur, who was staring at his older brother with hatred in his eyes.

“What the fuck?” Wilbur exclaimed, “You’ve barely known him two weeks and you already trust him more than your _brother?!”_

“Yes.”

“Listen, I’m sorry-“ Ranboo started, only to be cut off by Techno hitting his face with a cushion.

“Ranboo, just accept it.”

A muffled sound of agreement came from behind the cushion and Ranboo seemed to nod as Techno let him breathe again.

“Okay then,” Dream said, looking pointedly at Techno, “Choose someone.”

“Karl, but someone else choose the question.”

“I’ll ask!” Sapnap yelled, throwing himself into the circle, “Karl, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Okay, okay- who do you love more? Me or Quackity?”

Quackity glared at Sapnap from where he was laying against George and flipped him off, before turning to look at Karl with puppy dog eyes.

“Sap- you know I can’t answer that... I love you both equally!” Karl exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air like an excited child and giggling. Quackity’s expression visibly softened as he smiled at Karl, carefully shifting himself into a more comfortable position against George, who groaned in response.

"You three are disgustingly cute," Fundy muttered, stretching out over Wilbur.

"We know~" Karl said, hugging Sapnap tightly, "Anyway- Tommy, truth or dare?"

The teen whipped his head around from where he was quietly talking with Tubbo, his face a slight tinge of red, "What?"

"Truth or dare."

"Oh!" he exclaimed, "Dare! I ain't no pussy!"

Karl grinned and reached into the main pile of snacks and pulled out the salt shaker, handing it over to Tommy, "Eat salt."

Tommy looked down at the salt shaker in his hands, then up at Karl, and then he looked at Wilbur for confirmation, who nodded slowly. He twisted the cap off the salt and poured a small pile onto his hand and took a deep breath in before forcing it into his mouth. The entire circle fell silent as Tommy sat still for a few seconds before quickly grabbing his drink and chugging it like there was no tomorrow.

Wilbur glanced over at Techno as his younger brother was currently suffering greatly, only to see that he’d fallen asleep against Ranboo. He frowned and looked at Tommy, who was still downing that damn coke.

After a few minutes of screaming, coughing, hugs and apologies, Tommy pointed at Tubbo, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth...”

Tommy coughed again and stared at Wilbur, his eyes blurred slightly, “Wilby help.”

Wilbur sighed and pulled out his phone, quickly typing something into Google and skim reading what everyone assumed to be an article of some sort.

He cleared his throat, “Tubbo, my lovely practically brother, how long have you gone without a shower?”

“Probably like- two weeks? During some exam week. I can’t really remember.”

“I see. Has anyone not gone? I’m tired.”

“That’s your fault, Wilbur,” Techno muttered, waking up slowly, “You were up at four in the morning playing that fucking guitar.”

“You bitch-“

“Technoswear!” Quackity yelled, grinning at him.

Techno glared back for a few seconds, before it softened and a more malicious expression appeared on his face, “Quackity, have you been asked yet?”

Quackity’s smile faltered and changed from one of pride to one of nerves in a matter of seconds, “No- no I haven’t Technoblade, why do you ask?”

“Just... prompting Tubbo to ask, that’s all.”

“I- I see... That’s all?”

“Of course.”

“Oh well that’s swell-“

“Why wouldn’t it be all?” Techno asked, his voice going deeper and gravelly, an evil smile on his face.

The circle went quiet again, everyone looking at Techno with an expression of either amusement, fear or confusion.

“So-“ Tubbo said, “I get to ask Quackity then we all go home?”

Dream nodded, gesturing at the darkening sky, “I don’t think Phil or the Captain would appreciate you being out late.”

“Oh the Captain would kill us,” Ranboo stated, digging his hand into a bag of gummy worms and popping a few into his mouth. Tubbo and Fundy nodded solemnly in agreement.

“Big Q, truth or dare!”

“Dare.”

Tubbo thought for a moment, “I dare you to make a short song about the person you’re the most scared of here!”

Quackity stared at him, and then turned to face Techno, “Alright then.”

**\- - - - -**

“My greatest fear,

Is not one to be frowned upon.

In fact I think that it’s very very justified considering what it is...

My greatest fear!

Is someone in this circle,

who is fast asleep on,

Ranboo’s shoulder~

Technoblade-

Please don’t hurt me! This was a dare!

IM SO SORRY-

TECHNOBLADE

OH GOD OH FUCK HES AWAKE

HES AWAKE-

MY GREATEST FEA- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IS TECHNOOOOOO

BLADE-

NONONO IM SORRY AHHHH-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> man todays stream was amazing we got ranboo facecam i dont think ive ever ditched a tv show so fast


	33. [mi perdonas: i am never singing again]

_2:37AM_

**mi perdonas:** i am never singing again 

**mrtimeman:** why? :( 

**mi perdonas:** karl did you not see what happened today 

**mrtimeman:** i was more distracted with your handsome face 

**mi perdonas:** of fear? 

**snapmap:** what the hell 

**mrtimeman:** SAP! 

**mi perdonas:** ... 

**mrtimeman:** come to my room you two 

**snapmap:** sir yes sir 

**mi perdonas:** onway 

_8:47AM_

[ _**endermanman** changed their name to **boo**_ ] 

[ _**wimblur** changed **boo** 's name to **boob**_ ] 

**boob:** wilbur? 

**wimblur:** ranboo 

**wimblur:** sorry tommy got my phone 

**cokedemon:** FUCKING LIAR 

[ _**dre** revoked admin power from **wimblur**_ ] 

**dre:** wilbur 

**wimblur:** WHY 

**dre:** if tommy has access to your phone you're a liability to the reason he isn't allowed to change names in the first place :) 

**wimblur:** WHAT 

**wimblur:** I LIED I DID THAT 

**dre:** well then you're still getting no admin powers wilbur 

[ _ **dre** changed **boob** 's name to **boo**_ ] 

**boo:** thank you dream :D 

**dre:** you're welcome ranboo 

**dre:** if you need anything my dms are always open :) 

**peepoLove:** don’t trust him boo 

**peepoLove:** he is evil 

**dre:** evil? 

**cokedemon:** REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO ME WHEN I WAS EXCLUDED FROM THE GROUP FOR BURNING DOWN GEORGES SHITTY TENT 

**dre:** tommy that was years ago 

**peepoLove:** evil... 

**cokedemon:** evil... 

**peepoLove:** WHAT 

**cokedemon:** YOOOOOOO 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> i'm watching boo vod tomorrow but im so scared. ive been playing minecraft with my friends and we beat the enderdragon!! :D
> 
> anyway new arc kinda thing, maybe check the tags for a sneak peek? :)


	34. [Dadza: Who wants to go on a roadtrip?]

_7:48PM_

**Dadza:** Kids @ **everyone**

**Dadza:** Cap and I had a conversation yesterday and we've had a nice idea since it's half term 

**Dadza:** Who wants to go on a roadtrip?

**cokedemon:** did you just call me a Child 

**Dadza:** i called you a kid because you’re my kid 

**cokedemon:** Okay 

**dre:** DID SOMEONE SAY CAR 

**gogy:** please don’t 

**dre:** i won’t 

**dre:** for you, my darling <3 

[ _**gogy** has left **OnlyPain**_ ] 

[ _**dre** added **gogy** to **OnlyPain**_ ] 

**gogy:** i hate it here i’m going back to bed 

**Dadza:** Are you coming? 

**gogy:** probably 

**Dadza:** awesome 

**peepoLove:** DAD 

**Captain:** Tubs? 

**peepoLove:** CAN WE BRING SAM 

**peepoLove:** WAIT DREAM ADD SAM 

[ _**dre** added **creeper** to **OnlyPain**_ ] 

**creeper:** hello everyone 

**boo:** AW MAN 

**cokedemon:** AW MANNNN 

**peepoLove:** SAM! 

**creeper:** hello tubbo 

**peepoLove:** COME ON A ROADTRIP WITH US! 

**creeper:** alright :) 

**peepoLove:** LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

**niki:** where are we going on our roadtrip? 

**Captain:** To the beach with the big car park. It's a two day drive, so we'll most likely stop at a hotel or something 

**niki:** oh awesome! can i bring a friend with me cap? 

**Captain:** Of course Niki 

**niki:** thank you!! <3 

**wimblur:** road trip sounds fun 

**blade:** no it doesnt 

**wimblur:** i hope you know youre coming with 

**blade:** i hope you know that i can and will stab you with my sword again 

**wimblur:** LAST TIME YOU DID THAT I HAD TO GO TO THE DOCTORS 

**blade:** and you absolutely deserved it 

**wimblur:** @ **Dadza** TECHNO IS BEING A BITCH 

**Dadza:** Techno you're coming with us I don't trust you to stay in the house alone for a week, especially when all of your support people are away 

**blade:** fine 

**lgbbq:** fundy has a two week course for computing over half term so he can't come 

**peepoLove:** can you? 

**lgbbq:** yup! 

**peepoLove:** i am going in a car with eret and ranboo 

**boo:** god please no 

**peepoLove:** too late it has already been decided 

**peepoLove:** @ **Dadza** you are driving you have no choice 

**Dadza:** i don't mind 

**blade:** but who will drive US 

**Dadza:** can i make a new category for @'s @dre 

**dre:** sure 

[ _**Dadza** created category **roadtrip**_ ] 

[ _**Dadza** added **boo** , **creeper** and 10 others to category **roadtrip**_ ] 

**cokedemon:** @ **roadtrip** BITCHES ITS ROLL CALL TIME 

**dre:** i can’t drive 

**gogy:** neither 

**Captain:** I can drive 

**niki:** could you drive me and puffy? :D 

**Captain:** Of course! 

**niki:** you’re amazing !!! 

**gogy:** mr captain sir 

**gogy:** i am riding in your car 

**Captain:** Alright 

**dre:** george ?? :( 

**gogy:** i'd rather die then be in a car with you 

**creeper:** i can drive 

**dre:** sam i hope you're ready for people in your car 

**dre:** isn't it the biggest? 

**creeper:** its a pretty big car 

**peepoLove:** o7 

**boo:** o7 

**niki:** o7 

**creeper:** that doesn't seem very good 

**peepoLove:** sam i am so sorry 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> mr minecraft has been talking about an sbi meetup and i am vibrating with excitement


	35. [mi perdonas: why are you awake so fucking early]

_ 6:38AM  _

**Dadza:** @ **roadtrip** pack your bags we're meeting at the park entrance at 8 

**dre:** it is not even 7 

**Dadza:** do you think you can pack bags and get to the park in 20 minutes dream? 

**dre:** absolutely 

**cokedemon:** DO IT THEN 

**dre:** bet 

_6:53AM_

**mrtimeman:** where’s dream 

**mi perdonas:** why are you awake so fucking early 

**mrtimeman:** sap woke me up :( 

**mi perdonas:** @ **snapmap** WHY THE FUCK DID YOU WAKE UP KARL 

**snapmap:** i heard screaming 

**snapmap:** it was just dream though 

** snapmap: ** speaking of where is he

**snapmap:** @ **dre**

**dre:** [ _image sent_ ] 

**cokedemon:** you actually did it 

**Dadza:** You did it and you’re an idiot 

**Dadza:** Have fun staying out in the cold for an hour 

**dre:** wtf 

**Dadza:** You brought this upon yourself. 

_7:49AM_

**creeper:** i’m here! dream is sat on the bench looking like he’s about to punch something 

**dre:** i am 

**dre:** unlock your car 

**creeper:** are you going to punch me dream? 

**dre:** no i would never 

**dre:** i hold you too dear sam 

**creeper:** would you like me to buy you hot chocolate from mcdonald’s? 

**dre:** ..yes 

**creeper:** doors unlocked 

**peepoLove:** WHY IS IT RAINING 

**peepoLove:** THIS SUCKS 

**peepoLove:** RANBOO I BLAME YOU ENTIRELY 

**boo:** man 

**niki:** we’re almost there! 

**boo:** we are right around the corner 

**niki:** almost there :D 

**gogy:** i'm walking so i'll be 5 minutes 

**blade:** you're late george :/ 

**gogy:** im aware 

** gogy: ** suffer

**\- - - - -**

When everyone eventually arrived at the park, and Dream had bought his hot chocolate with Sam, the cars were slowly filled. 

In Phil's car, there was Eret, Tubbo and Ranboo. The latter two were sat in the back, both of them currently playing on their phones in complete silence. Eret was sat in the passenger seat, chatting with Niki and Puffy, who were waiting for the Captain to come back form the local supermarket with snacks. Phil was driving, since he was the only trustworthy adult out of the four of them, and he'd taken two paracetamol tablets for his already growing headache due to the yells of his children outside. 

The Captain eventually came back with a good few bags and passed them around everyone, throwing a big bag of gummy worms at Ranboo and a box of Haribo at Tubbo. He then ushered Niki and Puffy into the car, and dragged George away from Dream, who had kept a tight hand around his wrist before Sam threatened to not buy him anything else or let him eat the snacks. George quickly ran to the Captain's car and claimed the passenger seat for his own and immediately pulled out a pillow from his bag and went to sleep, his phone on silent. 

When Dream had eventually stopped crying over the loss of George, he moved to the back of Sam's car with Wilbur and Techno. Tommy had claimed the passenger seat next to Sam (admittedly after a lot of screaming and fighting: Wilbur and Tommy both wanted to sit up front, and it eventually got decided by a best of three rock, paper, scissors match). 

After everyone had been checked over, the cars began their two-day, chaos-filled journey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> i downloaded lunar client today and its honestly very pog :D  
> auto gg is a blessing im telling you  
> also tales of the smp is in a few hours! i hope everyone enjoys it!! i'll be watching the vod, so no spoilers >:( /lh


	36. [lgbbq: someone threw my earphones out of the window]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did someone say road trip angst? i am so sorry it just kinda happened

"Phiiiiiiiiiil," Tubbo whined, stretching his legs over Ranboo's legs, ignoring his brothers darkening expression blissfully, "Phiiiiiiiil-" 

_ "What?"  _

"Philza Minecraft, do not use that tone with me." 

"Tubbo, it has been literally _ten minutes_." 

"But I'm _hungry_ , Mr Minecraft." 

"You have food in your bag," Ranboo muttered, hastily flicking through his phone, "God, I wish I brought my headphones." 

Eret turned around from their seat and held out a tangle of wires to Ranboo, a strained smile and look of sympathy in his eyes, "Here Ran, you'll need these." 

"Eret, you're amazing, a lifesaver, an angel from heaven some might say," Ranboo said, reaching out for the earphones, only for them to be snatched by Tubbo and promptly thrown out of the open window. Both Eret and Ranboo turned to look at their younger brother, Eret with a pained expression and Ranboo with anger in his eyes. 

"If I'm an angel from heaven, then that one is absolutely a devil from hell." 

"Phil?" Ranboo said, tapping Phil's headrest. 

"Mhm?" 

"I'm very sorry for this." 

He lunged forward at Tubbo, who screeched and threw himself back against the car door. Eret turned back to face the front of the car and began humming to themselves, ignoring both Phil's increasing questions and the screaming from behind them. It was going to be a long week. 

**\- - - - -**

_8:23AM_

[ _ **niki** added **captainmom** to **OnlyPain**_ ] 

**niki:** @ **Dadza** @ **lgbbq** why have you pulled over? we just passed you guys 

**lgbbq:** someone threw my earphones out of the window 

**niki:** oh who was it? was it tubbo? 

**peepoLove:** IT WAS NOT MY FAULT 

**boo:** it was entirely 

**peepoLove:** i hate you 

**boo:** the feeling is mutual 

**peepoLove:** wait i was joking :( 

**peepoLove:** ran why wont you look at me :(( 

**niki:** leave him to calm down a bit 

**niki:** has he got any music? 

**lgbbq:** he's using phils headphones and staring at the window picking at his gummy worms 

**niki:** he'll be fine in a few hours 

**peepoLove:** HOURS???? 

**niki:** tubbo 

**peepoLove:** sorry 

**peepoLove:** i should not have done that 

**niki:** you're right, now find something to do with eret and phil 

**peepoLove:** like what??? 

**niki:** eye spy or something ??? 

**\- - - - -**

“Do you want to play Eye-Spy?” Tubbo asked, gently tapping Eret on their shoulder. Eret turned around and took in his younger brothers appearance. His voice was quieter and he was hunched over, as if he was trying to make himself smaller. He really did feel bad for what he did. 

“Sure Tubbo, let’s play Eye-Spy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> updates may be slower over the road trip arc bcos theyre all long chapters and my brain either works at turbo speed or snail speed with ideas lmfao  
> also i was rewatching stranger things (still am as i edit this) but that doesnt matter aha-


	37. [dre: GEORGEEER]

“I really hope that Tubbo and Ran will be alright...” Niki said, putting her phone face down on the seat and going back to her cross-stitch. 

“What happened with them?” the Captain asked, titling the front mirror so he could look at Niki clearly, “Niki?” 

“Tubbo did something stupid and Ran got mad at him for it.” 

“Nothing from the usual then?” Puffy muttered from her seat where she was concentrating on a game on her phone, “You always tell me about the fights they get into.” 

“Yeah, but this time I think Ran deserves to get mad at him, it was to do with headphones, you know how Ran gets on long road trips,” Niki said, glancing over at Puffy, "He hates them, y'know?" 

"I didn't know, but I get now why he deserves to be mad." 

Niki nodded and the Captain sighed as he went back to concentrating on the road. Niki went back to cross stitch and began humming softly to herself. George shifted in his seat and leaned heavily against the door, his cheek rested on the window, which had began to steam up due to the moisture in his breath. The car was silent, apart from the soft lo-fi beats playlist that were playing through the speakers. 

This was nice. 

**\- - - - -**

_10:47AM_

**dre:** GEORGEEER 

**dre:** @ **gogy**

**dre:** GEOHRE :(((( 

**cokedemon:** SHUT THE HELL UP 

**cokedemon:** YOURE SO LOUD 

**dre:** MY BOYFRIEND ISNT ANSWERING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

**captainmom:** he'd like me to tell you that you are not dating him 

**dre:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

[ _**dre** has left **OnlyPain**_ ] 

**captainmom:** :O 

**wimblur:** drama queen 

**wimblur:** [ _video sent_ ] 

**gogy:** wtf 

[ _**gogy** added **dre** to **OnlyPain**_ ] 

**gogy:** shut the hell up 

**dre:** GEORGE 

**gogy:** SHHHHHH 

**dre:** okay :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> what in the name of hell was that ending to tubbos stream? that man is cryptic as frick
> 
> also hello dnf people, please do not hurt me. the ship is NOT canon in this story, its jokes. please do not take it as romantic. please.


	38. [boo: thank you techno]

For the first time in his life, Sam felt some sort of sympathy for Phil and George. In the past, he could never understand why Phil sighed when Tommy walked past, or why George sometimes tried to actively avoid Dream. He never understood why when Wilbur and Techno were together, Phil wouldn't be anywhere in sight until they weren't. But now he absolutely knows why. 

"Wilbur you can't eat sand-" Techno starts, only to but cut off by Dream's dramatic screaming from next to him. 

"Oh no, I absolutely can. Watch me Techno." 

"Wilbur, don't eat the sand," Sam said sternly, having to raise his voice over the heart-wrenching screams of Dream, "Techno, try to not kill your brother and Dream shut up." 

The trio in the back of the car fell into silence at that, tears streaked down Dream's face, Techno holding his sword threateningly at his brother, and Wilbur with his hand in his bag, probably going to grab a bag of sand that he managed to stash in there. 

"Sorry Sam," they all muttered simultaneously, trying their hardest to ignore the shit-eating grin from Tommy, who had turned around to watch them. 

"Sucks to suck," Tommy said, yelping when Wilbur kicked his seat. 

"Boys!" 

**\- - - - -**

**blade:** please for the love of all that is right in this world can we swap cars when we stop at the hotel 

**lgbbq:** sure thing, everything okay techno? 

**blade:** i want to be in a car with phil and niki and ranboo everyone else can suffer 

**niki:** okay techno <3 

**peepoLove:** BUT BLADE I WANT BOO :(((((( 

**boo:** thank you techno 

**peepoLove:** RANBOO?? ?? ? :(( 

**boo:** tubbo you keep asking if we're there yet when you know we are literally over 24 hours away. 

**peepoLove:** fair point 

**peepoLove:** can i be with tommy 

**lgbbq:** absolutely not 

**mi perdonas:** how is the roadtrip going guyssssssssssss 

**blade:** hell 

**mi perdonas:** sucks to be you aha 

**blade:** [ _image sent_ ] 

**mi perdonas:** HAHA ITS NOT LIKE YOU CAN HURT ME OR ANYTHING 

**blade:** one week. the alley. 

**wimblur:** DID I HEAR ALLEY??? 

**mi perdonas:** FUCK NONONONOONONONONONO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> god its been what, 10 days?? apologies for the wait, i have been watching stranger things and listening to the soundtrack on repeat  
> we're so close to 2k kudos btw- so if you want to leave some then feel free to aha- /hj
> 
> anyway keep in mind updates will be inconsistent! i love u guys so so much /p
> 
> !! IF YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE THEM IN THIS COMMENT SECTION !!


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning there is horror aspects to this chapter i dont know how it happened it just kinda did

The first day of travelling soon came to an end as the group reached the hotel they were going to be staying at. It had been decided by the adults beforehand who were going to be staying together so there weren’t too many arguments and yelling. Ranboo was staying with Techno, Phil and George, and the four of them quickly evacuated to the room as soon as they checked in for the night, much to Tubbo and Tommy's dismay. 

"Ranboo, won't you stay with us and play pool?" Tubbo whined, clutching onto Ranboo's hoodie like a lifeline. Ranboo had shaken his head, a small, sympathetic smile on his face, 

"Maybe tomorrow morning Tubs, sleep well." 

This had somehow boosted Tubbo's energy and happiness, confusing Tommy, but the shorter brunet grabbed his best friends hand and dragged him up to their room before he could question it, ignoring the yells of Wilbur and Dream, who were stood at the desk with the key. They said goodbye to the remaining people and reluctantly followed the overexcited teens up the narrow, spiralling staircase. 

This left Sam, the Captain, Niki, Eret and Puffy to grab the last key and make their way up the stairs, dodging the dangling wires and spider-webs. "Who decided this was a good place to stay?" Niki asked, yelping as she walked into a spider-web. The walls were slightly greasy and greyed with what the five of them assumed were ashes. There were spider-webs everywhere and the carpet was dirty and covered in mud and grime. The Captain sighed as Niki and Puffy walked into another spider-web, gently moving past them to the front of the group, "The pictures looked so much nicer, and it's only for one night, I'm so sorry guys." 

The others hummed softly in response, Niki taking Puffy's hand as they continued up to their room. It was going to be a long, uncomfortable night. 

**\- - - - -**

When Tubbo and Tommy reached their room, they spotted a very familiar, tall blonde walking into the room next to them, and an evil thought went through their heads. Both of them turned to each other and shared a knowing grin. They both attempted to sneak in after their friend but were stopped by Wilbur and Dream placing a hand on their shoulders and gently guiding them into their room. 

It looked nice enough; it was what you would expect from a cheap, one-night stay at a hotel in the middle of _fucking nowhere_. 

"Toms, don't give me that look, I have an iffy feeling about this place..." Wilbur muttered when Tommy glared at him, "Does nobody else get the feeling we're not 100% safe?" 

Dream glanced over from where he was wrestling Tubbo into the room and _away_ from Ranboo and nodded solemnly, "It's definitely an awful hotel; I'd rather be sleeping in the car then here." 

Before Wilbur could agree, a loud bang rang out from next to them, followed by a chorus of yells and a crash that sounded scarily similar to the crash that had occurred when Tommy had fallen through the roof of the shed a few years ago. The four of them immediately rushed out of their room and knocked on the door next to them, anxiously waiting for it to be opened- or at the least a response. 

One minute passed and everything was silent. Dream knocked again, a tad louder this time, "Ranboo? Techno? Phil? Is anyone there? Hell, even _George_ \- Please answer." 

Another minute passed and Tubbo got restless and reached for the door knob, twisting it easily and opening the door. He stepped back in shock that it was open and gripped onto the hem of Tommy's t-shirt. The door swung open slowly, the creaking growing louder as it revealed more of the room. It was almost identical to theirs, with two bunk beds and a small table in the centre of the room. The only difference was that there was a big fuck-off hole in the corner where the armchair should've been. 

That and Ranboo, George, Phil and Techno were nowhere to be seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVENING GAMERS
> 
> yooo spooky chapter ???? idk how it happened it just kinda did  
> anyway sorry for not updating I MEANT TO A FEW DAYS AGO BUT FORGOT
> 
> ALSO!! we hit 2k kudos AND 400 comments!! the support on this is unreal thank you <3


	40. [peepoLove: RANBOO WHERE THE FUYCK ARE YOU]

_ 11:23PM  _

**peepoLove:** RANBOO @ **boo**

**peepoLove:** RANBOO WHERE THE FUYCK ARE YOU 

**niki:** is everything okay? 

**wimblur:** dad and tech n boo n goerge aern t int her room 

**captainmom:** wait what? 

**Captain:** Hey hey- calm down guys, they mightve just went to the bar? 

**cokedemon:** THERES A GIANT HOLE IN THEIR ROOM 

**cokedemon:** MR SPARKLEY I DONT THINK THEY WENT TO THE BAR 

**peepoLove:** DAD WHERE ARE YOU 

**cokedemon:** [ _image sent_ ] 

**lgbbq:** holy shit 

**captainmom:** that does not look good 

**cokedemon:** NO SHIT PUFFY 

**cokedemon:** LOOK AT THAT AND TELL ME THEYRE AT THE FUCKING BAR 

**Captain:** Okay everyone calm down 

**Captain:** What floor are you on? 

**dre:** 2 

**Captain:** We're on our way, stay put and do not go down the hole 

**niki:** are you sure it was ranboo tubbo? 

**peepoLove:** unless someone else has my handmade scarf that i made specifically for ranboo 

**peepoLove:** im pretty sure it was him niki 

**peepoLove:** 99.9% he was going into that room 

**peepoLove:** and hes not answering here and he always answers here 

**niki:** fair point 

**peepoLove:** he wouldn't let ppeople panic 

**niki:** i know tubbo, it's okay we're on our way

**captainmom:** we're almost there! 

**cokedemon:** okay guys good news and bad news 

**lgbbq:** what? 

**cokedemon:** decide 

**captainmom:** good news? 

**cokedemon:** we have found them we think maybe ?? ?

**niki:** and the bad news...? 

**wimblur:** FUCKING TUBBO JUMPED INTO THE HOLE AND NOW HES FUCKING UNCONSCIOUS?????? 

**niki:** WHAT 

**lgbbq:** oh my god 

**Captain:** We’re almost there. Don’t jump down after him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! :D
> 
> another update gasp :o  
> yet another cliffhanger, very sorry about that! a fun author note is i finally subbed to phil after like 6 months of watching him so thats amazing! :]
> 
> i love you guys so much, thank you for the support on this even though the schedule is kinda fucked currently <3


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